Uwajimaya's Take on the Minimart, Kai Market, Opens in South Lake Union

The market and deli concept for SLU opens this Wednesday, and of course, there will be poke, Eater reports. They will also have live crustaceans and bivalves in tanks, a fishmonger on hand to slice you up some sashimi, a growler bar, and more. Also, probably a billion interesting grab-and-go things for lunch. Essentially, it's a much smaller, more lunch-focused Uwajimaya, which sounds about right for SLU. It's in the 400 Fairview building, which is also home to Mbar, Bar Harbor Finestkind Provisions, and Meat and Bread.

JuneBaby is Officially Open

And I officially refuse to make the obvious birth puns about it. But I damn well intend to get in there and eat some of Edouardo Jordan's fried chicken—because you know it's gonna be fire—and his cornbread in adorable tiny skillets. And crispy pig ear and fried catfish and fried chicken feet and so on ad infinitum.

JuneBaby is his follow-up to his wildly successful Salare, which got him nominated for a James Beard Award for Best Chef Northwest. JuneBaby, unlike Salare, is intended to be a deep dive into his Southern heritage, something he purposely avoided doing the first time around to prove a point about what kind of food ethnic minorities are expected to cook. A point he makes masterfully in this new GQ piece.

Some Seriously Nouveau Riche Bullshit in Pioneer Square

The Dead Line is the latest upscale cocktail bar to come to Pioneer Square. Unlike its predecessors, which offer up fancy libations and snacks in an upscale atmosphere without being the least bit unwelcoming to those from all walks of life, the Dead Line seems to be aimed squarely at dickheads with new money.

Adam at Eater did a pretty fantastic job of roasting them for their highly questionable "Our Story" page, in which they equate "prostitutes, junkies, and grifters" with authenticity and passion, but I see no reason to pull these chickens out of the oven. What Adam didn't do was go in depth on their pretentiously exclusive Gold Room.

To get access to the Gold Room, one must be referred by a member of the bar's staff or an existing Gold Roomer, and also be willing to open a $1,000 tab. Once surrounded by your fellow flaunters, you'll enjoy 10 percent off on all food (because rich people need discounts?), bespoke drink menus and glassware (because this wasn't puke-y enough), and access to "Classic books on hand, business periodicals and daily delivery of newspapers."

Hopefully they stock The Atlantic, so all the smug tech bros that partake can read about how their wealth basically comes at the expense of minorities, and maybe a copy of Thorstein Veblen's classic roast of ostentatious rich people, The Theory of the Leisure Class, so they can realize that people have been making fun of people like them for over a century.

But seriously, it's one thing to be fancy, but it's another thing to really want everyone to know you're fancy. And it's a pretty gross thing, considering that your bar is a mere three blocks away from the largest concentration of homeless misery in the city.

Street Treat Yoself

Street Treats has a newly-launched brick and mortar location. CHS Blog stopped by on opening day to check it out, and their dispatch offers photographic proof that the beloved ice cream sandwiches upon which the truck made its name are available for purchase. Just in time for ice cream sandwich weather, too.

The Next Iron Chef Might be From Seattle

Shota Nakajima, of Capitol Hill's Adana, advanced to the third round last week. I don't have TV, so I can't tune in at 9pm on Sunday nights to watch him vie for the title, but I support him winning in spirit.

The Westy Sports & Spirits Looks North

To Roosevelt, to be precise, where they'll be opening a second location, according to Eater. I suppose it's a bit odd for a bar whose name is based on its original location—in West Seattle—but you can't really blame them for wanting to parlay their success there into more success. They'll be bringing their winning sports bar formula to the recently vacated Pies and Pints space. The meat pie purveyor closed its doors on April 15.

The SixGill Calls It Quits

The SixGill is closing, after four years of fancy beers and food to match. It was the second venture from the owners of the Noble Fir, which will continue to operate as normal (Thank God!). A Facebook post announcing the closure said that the SixGill will be replaced by Swel Restaurant, and wished them luck, so it seems like an overall amicable transaction.

Introducing The Wick Motorcycles and Coffee

The Wick Motorcycles and Coffee is a clean looking new cafe in Queen Anne that will offer up—you guessed it—coffee and motorcycle gear. They'll also have beer, wine, and foodstuffs, meaning they have pretty much everything I like in one place. They'll be open this Sunday, so you can hop on your brap-mobile, go grab a beer, and marvel at some of that gorgeous white subway tile that will be appearing behind every new bar in Seattle in 2017. Also, this adorable racoon on a motorbike: