Steven Weissman



/owner doesn't have control/not paying attention as dog violates social norms
"My dog has never done that before."
Or "He's really friendly"
Or "He doesn't bite" as I see a hair from my dog in the pitbull's mouth
/doesn't apologize
/looks at you like you're the asshole


Dogs can take a dump anywhere why stop at food spaces?


My pet peeve is owners placing their dog on tables at restaurants. 🤢


Other favorites:
Lady with the out of control dog that has a fake "Service Dog" vest in the store. Yeah, you've got us all fooled.

Walking my reactive dog on the street.
See you coming with your dog with a retractable leash let out all the way.
I cross to the other side of the road and shorten the leash so my dog is close to me and away from you.
You: "Can our dogs say hi?" as you move towards me.
"No, my dog is not friendly"
You: "My is." as you move closer and I am moving away and trying to comfort my dog.
You have let the leash out to the point that your dog is next to mine.
My dog growls you dog growls they start fighting.
You don't apologize and look at me like I'm the asshole.

I have my dog next to me and under control.
You approach and say, "Can I say hi to your dog?"
I say, "No he's not friendly."
You say, "He's really cute and I am really good with dogs" as you reach for the top of his head instead of letting him sniff your hand. He begins to growl.
Before I can say no he starts nipping at your hand and barking like a maniac.
You walk away looking at me like I'm the asshole.


Fuck that. I'm fine with the dogs, have them leave their dumbass people at home and we'd be fine.


“Does your dog bite?”
“No”- CHOMP!
“You said your dog doesn’t bite!”
“That is not my dog.”


Do you have a room?


The worst for me are people who negatively impact their dogs by taking them places which make them stressed or anxious. Chances are that’s why the dog in your example shit on the floor. Too many entitled asshole dog owners in this town treat their pet like an accessory instead of an actual living creature.


Should it really require a bunch of signs to address this? Dogs are generally not invited.
It's like suggesting "no go-carts" signs everywhere, because the ADA provides for electric wheelchairs.


You're all being oversensitive. The shitting on the carpet is not a "case in point" but an unusually extreme case. Dogs in bars, restaurants and shops are normally no more unhygienic, and certainly far less offensive, than the human customers. What are you all actually afraid of? Who among you has ever come down with some disease borne by dogs?


you don't like dogs in a place of business, move to any other town, we got our own folkways here.


@12 - Yeah right, what next, you want dining customers to be able to treat fido to nibbles from their steaks?


I have no problem with a well-behaved animal in any store or restaurant.

However, no matter how well-trained you think your dog is, you are probably just biased, and it's probably just a dumb mutt.

I love dogs, but unfortunately, dumb mutts in cafes can cause a few problems:

1) they can interfere with the work of a service animal (e.g. bark at it, get in its face, try to play, etc.)

2) can move around, get on furniture, etc. (I have often gotten poison oak interacting with dogs, so if you hike at all with your dog, even if it was a week ago, it really shouldn't be on restaurant/cafe furniture).

3) allergies. Some people are very allergic to dogs, and don't expect to encounter them in stores. (This is less of an issue for service animals, because they are well-behaved and don't jump around on strangers).

4) their paws are dirty, and they may stomp around and track dirt everywhere.

If you can point to a spot, tell your animal to sit, and it sits there without moving the whole time you're in the store, then yeah, fit to be in a store imo. If, while standing in line, your dog will stand next to you, not say hi to other patrons, not rub against them and cause allergy issues, then it belongs in public places. If, when it is right next to a service dog, it doesn't interact with the service animal at all (and especially doesn't try to play or fight with it), then it can be in a store.

But be honest with yourself about whether your dog is actually that well-trained. Can it do all that even in stressful environments, with music, lots of strangers, etc.? Probably not.


@4 That is beyond the pale, and outdoes my two worst: someone putting little Fifi IN the shopping cart at a grocery store. Thanks a lot. Then the person in the foodstore buying deli meat AND FEEDING IT TO HER DOG ON THE FLOOR RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THE DELI CASE! I lost it and yelled at her I was going to call Public Health. She booked out of there quick. The employees at both places told me they can't do anything; their mgmt. is afraid of getting sued.

@9 has it right: people are taking their dogs where the dogs are uncomfortable. Idiots.


"He's friendly! He's friendly!"

Cool. Im not. Get your dog off me.


"he's humping my godamn Leg."
'that's okay. be Glad he
Likes you.'



I have the same issue with my dog, a street-rescue with severe reactivity to other dogs (and cats and crows, basically anything it had to compete with for food), and I make a very conscientious effort to ensure I keep some distance. I tried tying a yellow ribbon to her leash as a warning that she's reactive, but apparently nobody knows what that means or simply ignores it, so I'm constantly on the lookout for clueless dog owners who meander up the sidewalk either with their nose in their phone or blabbing away to their companion and generally displaying all the situational awareness of a moth next to a 150 watt light bulb, while Fifi or Fido tags alongside.

Fortunately, the businesses in my neighborhood know her well, so I'm always welcome to bring her inside for a short spell when grabbing a coffee or an ice cream, and she's very well-behaved around people, so generally it's not a problem. But, I wouldn't even think of dragging her into a grocery store or the like; it would just be a miserable experience for everyone, including her.


Yes, yes, we all know it's soooo easy to literally shit on Seattle and its dog owners, but speaking from personal experience we've got nothing on Europe when it comes to free-range dog pooping. In some cities in Germany it was so bad my group developed a set of hand signals, so that anyone walking ahead could forewarn those behind of an impending pile of feces in the middle of the sidewalk, of which there were legion. Apparently, no one there (France was nearly as bad, but for the fact they tended to have much smaller dogs on-average) feels the need to at least get their dog to the curb edge to do their business, or even to pick up after them. So, you know, it's really not just in Seattle that it's a problem.

But then, one could say that about literally ANY complaint people make around here...


We fed a bot twenty years worth of I, Anonymous columns and then had it write one!


@12 "Dogs in bars, restaurants and shops are normally no more unhygienic, and certainly far less offensive, than the human customers."

Yeah, I've heard grocery clerks defensively make that argument. Even if it's true, the presence of dogs only ADDS to the unhygienic mix. Dog-borne pathogens and human-borne ones don't miraculously cancel each other out.

I naively thought that the pandemic would bring a crackdown on dogs in grocery stores, delis and other places where they clearly don't belong (other than working service animals). Silly, silly me.


@6 mike blob: Or we could leave the clueless humans at the Humane Society until they're found a suitable home.

@7: LOL patL for the WIN!!!! That line is a classic, and my all-time favorite Graham Stark supporting film role as a German innkeeper (The Pink Panther Strikes Again, 1976). Rest in peace, late UK born comedian Graham Stark(b. 1922-d. 2013; who made it to 91), and thanks for the laughs.

@9 schmacky: Agreed. What I can't stand are irresponsible so-called "dog lovers" (they're obviously not) who, as you aptly point out, treat their canines like accessories instead of actual living, breathing pets with 24/7 needs.
The worst by my observance are clueless apartment dwellers who, when insisting they "need" a dog, just smuggle a pooch into their unit. Because an older neighbor down the hall who cannot properly function otherwise without his well behaved poodle, an "emotional support animal" codicil was recently added to the originally established "no-dogs" tenant pet policy. Property management now allows this for an additional conditional fee. Then, of course the clueless "dog lovers'" push the envelope to the max. They first attempt to pass their harbored pet off as a service dog (Yeah, riiiight! Where's its required vest identifying the animal as trained to assist disabled humans?).
Then they try to claim the dog as an "emotional support animal", too, (Gee--no need to go through all the red tape of training and vest wearing requirements! What could go wrong?). The neglected dog is then left by itself (so much for the owners being unable to go about their daily routine without their snoogie-woogums) in a locked one bedroom unit all day unattended to, barking, yapping and whining, disturbing the peace and inconveniencing neighbors while the owners are out shopping, at work, out to lunch, school, chem lab, etc., and there is an abundance of surrounding parks that welcome dogs!
Finally, when all else fails and the clueless tenants face eviction for animal neglect, multiple noise complaints, flooding two downstairs units, and other damages: "Well, it's my boyfriend's dog!"

@22 CKathes: There is a local restaurant & bar where I live that used to be highly reputable until it went "Under New Management" ever since the original owner retired, sold the business, and a mushroom cloud of surrounding condos has gone up in the district. The new owner seems to exclusively cater to dog people, however oblivious to their surroundings, and added an outdoor seating area in the courtyard. Ooooo--are they rich transplanted newbies? Did they bring their snoogie-woogums?
When I last went there the food, seating, and service were SO shamefully disorganized and terrible, not to mention the employee disregard for hygiene that I haven't been back since. The owner's unconcerned reply: "We got busy". You'd think some proprietors of public eateries, especially since the onset of COVID would get a clue.

On the plus side, I recently noticed a sign in the front door of an infinitely nicer restaurant a block up the street from the doggy-dive, that listed specific canine etiquette rules, openly stating that violators and their undisciplined dogs would be firmly shown the door. They must have started getting spillovers from the doggy-dive.
It is sad, though, that our society has had to come to that.


@7 patL: German Innkeeper(on phone, while puffing on a long pipe): "Dr. Schultz lives here, yah, but he has gone fishing!......Yes, I will tell him."(hangs up phone at front desk).
(To Inspector Clouseau, pointing to his dentures): "He made all mein teeth for me."

@8: "Ich hatte gerne ein zimmer."

@18 Brent Gumbo: I feel your pain.

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