Please stop scheduling Thanksgiving meals in the middle of the afternoon. 

Forcing people to eat at 3 pm or whatever means skipping lunch, arriving hangry, pushing back dinner to some insane hour, and destroying digestive schedules across the nation. No wonder people get into so many fights at the table during the holidays—they’re talking about politics while operating at a caloric deficit! This is a threat to democracy!! 

Why are we doing this? Football? Eat while you watch the men concuss themselves, you weirdos! Takes a long time to cook turkey? Start earlier, superhost! 

Don’t get me wrong. I love you, I want to break bread with you, I want to risk spreading a deadly respiratory virus with you, but I simply do not eat at this time. Like most people who aren’t grazers, I normally eat breakfast in the morning, lunch around noon, and dinner between 6 and 8. Please schedule your feast during one of those times.

3 pm???? That's a time for SNACKS ONLY. I know there’s a lot of division in the country right now, but I hope we can at least agree on eating feasts when we normally eat. 

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