Hey thieves, you left the rudder when you stole the paddle board out of my car right in front of our home. 

It was the last gift my dad gave me before he died. I had loaded it in the trunk to take it out this weekend—but thanks to you, that did not happen. 

Your selfishness was a shitty end cap on a season of bereavement (SOB). I may have lost my dad, but you’re a rudderless piece of shit. 

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