Illustrations by Pete Gamlen

Seeing how 2024 was rife with bullshit, I expected the results of our annual sex survey to echo that same dread. It’s hard to get horny in the midst of a terrifying political shitstorm, after all. But despite it all, nearly 3,000 of you beautiful people took the time to answer all our nosey questions, and the results have left us feeling warm and fuzzy with optimism. 

Compared to last year’s numbers, more of you are more satisfied with the amount of sex you’re having, fewer of you are keeping your kinks and fetishes from your partners, and the number of you in your preferred relationship—single vs. monogamous vs. in a polycule, for example—has increased. You’re having more boat sex, too! Plus, numbers are up for threesomes and orgies, which we count as a win because year after year, without fail, those are the two activities that top the majority of your “One sex act I want to do before I die…” lists. Dreams do come true.

It’s not all good, I suppose. The number of tops continues to decline (supporting Seattle’s reputation for running ’em all out of town), y’all are only 5/10 horny for Luigi Mangione (baffling!), and, for some reason, 2% of you are Republican, Libertarian, or MAGA. Gross.

Still, the average Seattleite—at least the average Seattleite willing to participate in our survey—seems to be pretty satisfied with where they are right now, whether married and monogamous or racking up Tinder dates left and right (which is where 23% of you report usually meeting your sex partners). 

This year, it’s clear that you’re gettin’ yours, Seattle. (Or not! You’re on the rise, asexuals!) I’m so proud of you.

THE BRASS TACKS

Let’s first look at some of the most basic numbers, shall we? Most of you survey takers (35%) are straight, with 20% identifying as bisexual, 14% queer, 13% gay, 8% pansexual/omnisexual, 6% lesbian, 2% questioning, 2% asexual, and 1% other. 

Though straights still have the largest slice of the pie, their numbers have dwindled over the years. A whopping 48% of respondents identified as straight in 2023, and that number dipped to 42% in 2024. At this rate, straight folks will be all but extinct by 2031! That’s how math works, right?

Cis men and cis women make up 41% and 38% of respondents, respectively, with nonbinary (11%), genderqueer (4%), trans women (3%), trans men (2%), and “other” (2%) rounding out the list. Less than 1% identified as two-spirit or intersex. But don’t worry, it’s not a contest! We’re glad you’re all here! 

BODY COUNT

Who’s racking up the highest body count among our survey takers? *drum roll* Gay cis men! Same as last year. More than half of all the gay cis men between the ages of 36–45 who took our survey report having slept with at least 100 people. Comparatively, most straight cis men in the same age bracket have gone to bed with fewer than 25 folks. (Again, it’s not a contest!)

You might assume that those who say they’ve slept with more than 100 people are living that single life, but you’d be wrong! It’s a pretty close split, actually, with about 31% married, 32% in a relationship, and 37% single. You might also assume that those same people are Democrats or socialists who live on Capitol Hill, and, woo boy, I have more news for you! That’s exactly the case, actually, never mind. 

Zooming out and looking at the full results, the majority (59%) of you have slept with fewer than 25 people, and 32% of you have slept with fewer than 10. 

TOPS CONTINUE TO FLEE

Seattle’s dearth of tops isn’t getting better. Last year, just a quarter of respondents claimed that topping was the role that best suited them in the sack, and this year’s number is even lower at 23%. If you’re looking to get topped, the majority of them report living in Capitol Hill and West Seattle.

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

This was the first year we asked where y’all lived and were able to crunch the numbers in any meaningful way. Last year, we made the mistake of posing the question as a fill-in-the-blank, and holy guacamole, I don’t wanna judge, but people are terrible spellers! It was useless data! Lesson learned. This time around, we made the question multiple choice and learned that more than 80% of you live in Seattle. The neighborhood with the most sex survey takers is… *drum roll* Capitol Hill! No surprise there. West Seattle, Ballard, Central District, and Greenwood round out the top five.

Is it true that West Seattle is where all the straight folks move once they turn 40? I can’t say for certain, but the majority of Capitol Hill survey takers are between the ages of 26–35, and only 16% of those on the Hill identify as straight. (With 25% identifying as gay, 20% as bi, and 19% as queer.) Meanwhile, 63% of West Seattle folks who filled out the survey are 36 or older, and respondents predominantly (44%) identify as straight. Math!

POLITICS OF THE HEART

Democrats and socialists make up a whopping 77% of all respondents, with independents, other, and anarchists falling in line in that order. Ten (individuals, not %) of you claim to be proud members of the MAGA party??? Feels like a lie, but sure.

TYING THE NOT

The majority of you survey takers (40%) are in a relationship, with married and single folks splitting the difference at 31 and 29%, respectively. That’s pretty on par with last year’s numbers.

The national narrative has long been that people are waiting until later in life to get married if they’re getting married at all. Our survey suggests the same—just 3% of survey takers who are 25 years old or under have tied the knot (take that, Institute for Family Studies!), and the majority of married respondents are between 36–45 years old.

MONOGAMY RULES

We found that 77% of you are in a relationship, and 23% of you are single. More than half of you who are married or in a relationship report being monogamous, while 21% of you are nonmonogamous, and 16% walk that monogamish line. We see you, too, polycules! You may only represent 5% of survey takers, but that’s up from 2% in 2023 and 3% in 2024. The polycule is growing!

Regardless of relationship status, the bulk of you, 41%, prefer monogamy when partnered up. Monogamish is the second most popular preference at 27%, with nonmonogamous (19%), “a polycule that would make an amino acid blush” (8%), and single (4%) rounding out the list.

One interesting stat in all this: Of those who say they’d prefer to be single, 4% are married, and 9% are in a relationship. Find what makes you happy, friends! (I mean, don’t do anything cruel or illegal, but maybe talk to a therapist about it?)

SINGLE SERVINGS

More than 70% of respondents in a relationship are somewhat satisfied (if not very satisfied) with the amount of sex they’re having. Congratulations! That bucks the old “marriage = involuntary celibacy” stereotype that Al Bundy drilled into our brains. (Survey results suggest that fewer than half of you are old enough to get that reference, but I don’t care.) How does that compare to the single life? About half of our single survey takers report being dissatisfied (if not very dissatisfied) with the amount of sex they are (or, in this case, I’m guessing they are not) having. Sorry to hear it! I hope 2025 is your year.

CHEATING UPDATES

The numbers of folks who have cheated and haven’t cheated on their partners are almost identical between this year’s and last year’s numbers. As ever, the two groups most likely to cheat, according to our results, are straight cis men and straight cis women, with gay cis men rounding out the top three. Have y’all never seen an episode of Snapped? Did you learn nothing from the Ashley Madison scandal???? It does not end well! 

FURBABY ON BOARD

Childless pet owners outnumber parents of human children 34 to 23%, supporting Seattle’s growing reputation for being overrun with DINKWADs. Next time, we’ll include a field where you can upload a picture of your dogs and cats and guinea pigs and birds because squeeeeeee!!!! We wanna see dere cute widdle faces!!!! [Editor’s Note: WRONG KIND OF SURVEY, MEGAN.]

BABES IN TOYLAND

BIG NEWS! This year’s top three sex toys are vibrators, lubricants, and dildoes! Just kidding, that’s not news. That’s exactly the same as both 2024 and 2023. The least popular kink accouterments include penis pumps, waifu body pillows, and sex dolls, in that order. (They’re even less popular than “whatever’s in the vegetable crisper”!)

In that same vein, only about 18% of you report using medication or supplements, such as Viagra, Addyi, and poppers, to help your performance.

AS FOR KINKS

Since kink preferences can evolve or be influenced by trends and pop culture, it’s interesting to watch how things change over the years. For example, in 2023, blindfolds were a top-five kink, but now they’re barely holding on to a spot in the top 10. Meanwhile, nipple play skyrocketed from being a favorite for 41% of you in 2023 to 55% in 2025! It’s this year’s second-most-popular kink! Congratulations, nipple play. Here is your crown. (Haha, I just imagined a tiny crown being placed on a nipple—cute.) Group sex is on the move—it was enjoyed by 40% of you in 2023 and is now making 48% of y’all happy—and gaping/stretching is having a moment, too. Sure, it’s still niche, but 6% of respondents enjoyed it in 2023, and that’s up to 10% this year. 

All that said, the top five kinks among the whole sex survey population are submissiveness, nipple play, spanking, bondage, and group sex. In case you’re curious, the top five kinks for those 10 alleged MAGA voters appear to be domination, submissiveness, gagging, and then a five-way tie with spanking, spitting, rimming, age play, and consensual nonconsent. Do with that what you will.

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX WORK, BABY

Fewer than 15% of you claim to subscribe to online sex worker sites such as OnlyFans or ManyVids. That’s up, barely, from 12% in 2023 and 13% in 2024. 

About 4% of this year’s survey takers say they perform sex work, with 2% working online, 1% working in person, and another 1% working both online and in-person. It’s the sole source of income for 1% of you.

YOU LOVE PORN, THO! 

While subscriptions to sites like OnlyFans have only increased a couple of points in recent years, your commitment to porn holds strong, Seattle! About 71% of survey takers watch porn at least one or two times a week, with 9% of you claiming to partake every single day. Those numbers are almost identical to 2024 and 2023.

AND MASTURBATING!

More than 90% of all sex survey respondents choke the chicken, diddle the skittle, jack the beanstalk, paddle the pink canoe, and make the bald man cry at least a few times a month. The majority of you get busy with yourself at least twice a week, on average, while a not-unimpressive 20% of you she-bop “every damn day.”

 THREESOMES AND ORGIES ARE UP

The number of you who report having participated in an orgy has increased by nearly 10% since 2023, with almost 30% of y’all getting it on with more than three people at one time. More than 60% of participants claim orgies are “correctly rated,” with 27% writing them off as overrated.

Admittedly, there’s some weird, imperfect math at play here. More than 800 people say they’ve orgied (that’s a word, right?), but more than 1,000 people answered whether orgies were overrated, underrated, or correctly rated. How do you know if you’ve never…?? INSERT SKEPTICAL EMOJI HERE.

BOAT SEX IS UP, TOO!

When it comes to humping in modes of transportation, the car continues to reign supreme. A whopping 98% of you have gotten lucky in an automobile. (What I really want to know is how many of them were Cybertrucks.) But coming (heh) in second is… THE BOAT! Boat sex is up this year, with 33% of survey takers having taken to the high sea. Trains are in third—and also on the rise!—with 12%, and planes are holding steady with 7%. Once again, a handful of you claim to have gotten busy on the Monorail, and seeing as how a Monorail ride lasts “approximately 3 minutes,” I honestly don’t know if that’s a proper brag or a self-own. 

YOUR HORNINESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE

We debated whether or not to ask how horny you were for Luigi Mangione because we assumed every single response was going to be like “omg so horny, very horny, 100 out of 10, would fuck, kill all CEOs.” So how surprised were we to see Luigi average just over 5 on the survey’s 1-10 horny scale. That’s only medium horny! Those numbers do shift a bit when sorted by gender and orientation. Straight cis men put their horniness for Luigi around 3, straight cis women average just over 5, and gay cis men are the horniest for him, coming in just over 6.

USE YOUR WORDS

If you listen to music during sex, what’s your go-to song?

This year, one artist popped up more than any other, and no, it wasn’t Chappell Roan. (I’m surprised, too! “My Kink Is Karma” is hot!) Guitar god Gabriella Sarmiento Wilson, aka H.E.R., was mentioned time after time as a favorite sexy time soundtrack for several of you, and not just one of her especially hot songs, either. Several H.E.R. tracks got nods, making me wonder if this was some kind of weird guerrilla marketing. Give ’em a listen the next time you hop in the sack to see what the fuss is about.

FKA Twigs, Nine Inch Nails, the Weeknd, Massive Attack, Rihanna, and Bad Bunny were all common picks; some less expected responses (which I choose to believe are 100% real and not at all jokes) include: “Star Trek Next Generation 24hr engine noise,” “a 45-minute YouTube retrospective about the Super Mario Galaxy,” and “The Real Housewives of Orange County intro theme.” (Vicki, is that you?)

And I’d be remiss not to give a shout-out to the respondent who got very detailed with their music of choice and timing: “Pink by Boris. The whole album. It starts out slow and dreamy, then gets cuh-razy… my gf slipping her fingers in me right as the guitars really kicked in during ‘Farewell’ was one of the best moments of my life and one of my best sexual memories.”

We’ve compiled some of our favorite sexy song nominations into a playlist, which you can listen to at the bottom of this post! Here are more songs that made the list:

“Every Kind of Way” by H.E.R.

“2” by H.E.R

“Focus” by H.E.R.

“Lights On” by H.E.R.

“Two Weeks” by FKA Twigs

“Bed Chem” by Sabrina Carpenter

“Breathe” by Télépopmusik

“Tent in Your Pants” by Peaches

“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails

“Picture You” by Chappell Roan

“Mommy” by Betta Lemme

“Talk Show Host” by Radiohead

“My Ass Is On Fire” by Mr. Bungle

“Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles

“Lust” by Boy Harsher

“Nothing Left to Lose” by Everything but the Girl

“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” by Elton John

“Something” by the Beatles

“Road Head” by Japanese Breakfast

The Passion of the Christ soundtrack

“Dracula’s Wedding” by Kelis and OutKast

“Well Well Well” by Le Tigre

“Aguardiente y Limon” by Kali Uchis

What’s the sexiest thing you did in 2024?

Sexy is in the eyes of the beholder, as this year’s results prove. While many folks happily took their sexual adventures to a new level with more toys, more partners, or (in at least one case) a cheering audience—others say their sexiest moment didn’t have anything to do with sex at all! Several respondents prioritized themselves in 2024—got out of bad relationships, quit toxic jobs, got sober—and are (deservedly!) feeling themselves for it. Case in point, one respondent answered, “Asexual, so the best thing I did was get to a place in my (monogamous) relationship where we don’t have sex, and we’re okay with it.” 

Here are more of your sexiest moments: 

“Got my wife to masturbate in front of me.”

“Inserted a hollow butt plug, crossdressed into a dress and heels and period panties, and attended a meeting while working from home.”

“I have to say… inserting porcupine quills into my partner’s penis.”

“Get a giant comfy dog kennel and then have kinky puppygirl sex with a friend in it.”

“Drank a large glass of wife’s pee.”

“Boat sex on Lake Washington.”

“Gave head to someone between parked cars in the Pike Place Market garage.”

“Had sex in the Rendezvous bathroom on New Year’s Eve.”

“Bob Dylan impression at karaoke.”

“Had sex on the muddy ground on the banks of the Cedar River.”

“Bound and gagged looking out the window of the third floor of Massive.”

“Eaten out at Sea Monster Lounge.”

“Spit on a CEO.”

“Wrestled a somewhat famous OnlyFans star into submission and then fucked her and came in her at a CNC party.”

“Had queer sex for the first time! With queer people, doing queer things.”

“Had sex on the light rail after eating at La Medusa in Columbia City. Had sex from the Columbia City stop all the way to the Capitol Hill stop.”

“Hosted a cake and cunnilingus party.”

“We saw U2 at the Sphere, and I had an orgasm during ‘Mysterious Ways.’”

“Stayed alive.”

What is one sex act you want to accomplish before you die?

Nearly 10% of respondents had some form of threesome on their bucket list. That was a big trend last year, too. I’d like to point out to all of you dreamers that more than half of our survey takers have participated in one. It’s a totally reachable goal!

Fisting or getting fisted was also a popular answer this year, with some fantasies getting more specific than others—one person wants to be fisted elbow-deep, one wants to be fisted up to a bicep, and a sole brave soul wants to “get fisted so I finally prolapse and have someone rim my loose prolapsed hole.” Godspeed.

Here are more fuck-it list highlights: 

“High-five during a spit roast.”

“Make someone cum by fisting them.”

“I think what I actually want is
to be in a polycule!”

“I want someone to pee on me, god dammit!”

“Suspended Shibari rough sex.”

“CNC gangbang.”

“MMF!!!”

“MFM.”

“MMF & FFM”

“Being the ‘meat’ in an MMF sandwich, if you know what I mean. The middleman.”

“Being taken by a massive strap-on from behind while suspended by flesh hooks.”

“Twins!”

“Orgy.”

“Visit the femdom castle in Czechia for a prison stay.”

“Being a top in an actual studio-produced gay porn flick.”

“Can I say be in love?”

“Five-way; one for each hole, nipple, and dick.”

“Have sex with my therapist.”

“Now that you mentioned sex on a boat, that sounds pretty sick.”

“I wanna shit in somebody’s mouth, but then just leave.”

“I’d love to deep clean a lover’s bathtub, fully naked, and be fondled while I’m doing it.”

“Have an audience clap for me after having sex onstage.”

“A threesome with three of us with vulvas. No dicks allowed unless they’re silicone.”

“Full weekend as a rubber gimp in a group/weekend getaway with my friends.”

“Fuck a famous person.”

“Does fucking Chris Evans count?”

“Be topped by two brat tamers at once.”

“Fifty man bukkake for my 50th.”

“Getting ate out while standing against a tree.”

“Sex in space! Or at least zero gravity.”

“Participate in a massively multiplayer transhumanist orgy culminating in millions of people having a simultaneous three-hour-long orgasm timed to coincide with the defeat of global fascism.”