To all you white people throwing parties to fund your Burning Man/meditation retreat: Do you realize how fucking selfish you are? You're asking me to give you money so you can use your paid time off to go and get fucking high off of drugs/enlightenment/[insert entitled, self-deprecating activity here]? And what do I get—a measly mixed drink and Snapchats of how much fun you're having with my money? I know the new thing is all about "microfunding," Amanda Palmer's "asking" phenomenon, and this Kickstarter shit, but it's usually (OMG) for a business venture or a marginalized population that can't even get food on the table. My $30 would be put to better use by giving it to the Walgreens cashier working for minimum wage. Oh, and buying tickets before the party and asking me to back fund that money you just spent? You're the sleaze of the crop. Go get some morals, assholes.

—Anonymous