So I just heard a song on Spotify, and I have questions. A lot of questions.

Right away, the singer dives into cultural appropriation by saying how "every day, I get up and pray to Jah." Not a good look, obviously white dude, but like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I'm sure the Rastafarian people don't need me to fight their battles.

My ears perked up when I heard this singer mention the presence of "skinheads on my lawn." I don't know what I expected him to do: Take a stand, maybe? Get in their face, maybe? Maybe explain to these fascist fucks that what they believe in IS NOT COOL?

Um, no. Here was his advice: "Take the skinheads bowling, take them bowling." I was stunned. Shocked. No words. Then he sang it again: "Take the skinheads bowling, take them bowling."


Actually, no. Not LOL. SMH, if anything. SMH hard.

Maybe some people think the appropriate response to white-supremacist groups that specifically target POCs and other marginalized peoples with violence is to—gee, I don't know, make FRIENDS with them so you can participate in a traditionally white-cis-heteronormative cultural practice like bowling?

Um, really? You really think that recommending that as a course of action is appropriate? Now? You honestly think that going BOWLING is going to SOLVE the FUCKING QUAGMIRE OF RACISM AND VIOLENCE IN AMERICA? THAT'S YOUR ADVICE? NO? YES? (Crickets. Typical.)

Here's my response to ANYONE who thinks this is good advice: 🙄

Um, hi: You're not the Big Fucking Lebowski. (And don't get me started on my issues with that film, another so-called "satire" that apparently believes all women are nymphomaniacs and all Latinx men are child molesters named Jesus.)

I can already hear the chorus of apologists: Oh, that band was a bunch of stoners and that song was from 1985. Yeah, and Tina Fey is a good ally. And Hillary Clinton didn't rig the primary. And there was blame on both sides in Charlottesville.

We need to get serious.

Disclaimer: I, too, am a cis white male, and as such I know I'm already committing an act of violence by even expressing this or any other idea in the public sphere. And I'm sorry. I wish there was a carbon-offset-style program for when white people take up more space than we deserve.

I have also been bowling, though never with skinheads, and I'm trying to do better. We can. We must.

Know this, Camper Van Beethoven: We're watching you.

And also Nazis. recommended