Iâm a gay man and Iâve recently started seeing a guy in an open relationship. Heâs intelligent, funny, and sexy. He told me early on that his partner is a Dom top, into kink (leather, latex, etc.), that his partner has caged boys, and so on. Moreover, with his partner heâs a âbratty sub,â meaning he engages in erotic disobedience and defiance. I was indifferent to this initially, but I have begun to become aware of his partners presence in a way I donât like, even though Iâve never met the guy. I also find myself feeling resentful and jealous of the idea of him being told what to do, held back, or controlled. (The sex we have is hot, intimate, and intense, as well as completely vanilla.) I know his relationship with his partner is none of my business, but if he truly is a bratty sub, and his...
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Neither Brat Nor Tamer
Letâs call the guy youâre hooking up with âBratâ and call his fiancĂ© âDom.â Worst-case scenario, NBNT, Brat goes home and tells Dom everything youâve been doing together, presumably in a very bratty way, and then Dom punishes Brat for being a slutty brat. If thatâs what theyâre doingâand we donât know if thatâs what theyâre doingâthen, yeah, I guess the vanilla sex youâre having with Brat is being âincorporatedâ into the erotic power-exchange games Brat and Dom play together. You could ask Brat not to tell Dom anything about the time he spends with you, NBNT, but you ultimately canât control what Brat does or says when heâs alone with Dom⊠and them telling each other everything might be a condition of their open relationship⊠and you attempting to control what Brat says to Dom when theyâre alone while at the same time objecting to the control Dom has over Brat is a little hypocritical.
Zooming out for a second...
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