by Wednesday at 4:39 pm•
ARIES (March 21–April 19): According to an old Sufi aphorism, you can't be sure that you are in possession of the righteous truth unless a thousand people have called you a heretic. If that's accurate, you still have a ways to go before you can be certified. You need a few more agitated defenders of the status quo to complain that your thoughts and actions aren't in alignment with the conventional wisdom. Ironically, those grumbles should give you just the push you require to get a masterful grasp of the inconvenient but righteous truth.
TAURUS (April 20–May 20): I undertook a diplomatic mission to the disputed borderlands where your nightmares built their hideout. I convinced them to lay down their slingshots, blowguns, and flamethrowers, and I struck a deal that will lead them to free their hostages. In return, all you've got to do is listen to them rant and rage for a while, and then give them a hug. Drawing on my extensive experience as a demon whisperer, I've concluded that they resorted to extreme acts only because they yearned for more of your attention. So grant them that small wish, please!Read article »