4 Transgender Day of Remembrance Events in Seattle Today

Having Children Is Selfish


If you want to have kids, that's cool. But fuck you for pretending not to judge those who voluntarily choose not to. It's not sad, and childless people will not necessarily die alone as you imply.

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Why Do All Straight Men Suck at Sex in LTRs?


This hugely depressing thing keeps happening to me in relationships, and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm a bisexual cis female, I tend to date cis guys. I'm kinky and have a high sex drive. But somewhere between the twelve and fifteen month mark in a relationships... the sex keeps stalling. For me, the "we aren't new anymore" plateau is the perfect time to up our game—new toys, new gear, role-play, whatever. But these guys they just won't.
Suddenly the sex becomes super infrequent and totally effort-free. Like, I'm laying under a limp sack of potatoes (that smells like beer) rocking/pushing against my pelvic area and that's the sex now. Or his whole body is clenched like a fist, his eyes are screwed up tight, and he has to concentrate so hard to "get there" that it's like I don't even exist.

I keep bringing my A-game. I dress up. I will initiate but most of these guys I've been with said that made them feel "pressured" so I stopped. So the only way I get laid after twelve or fifteen months? By accepting whatever sex is on offer—even if it's cursory and impersonal. But I know that if these guys had a new girl's body in their bed, Dan, it wouldn't be like that. Because they weren't like this with me in the beginning. They were excited, with roaming hands and greedy eyes, and they didn't just lay on me like a dead weight.

I'm not cut out for polyamory. I can only orgasm with tried-and-true lovers that I'm in love with. (I've had something like 35 partners and I've only had orgasms with about ten of them.) So I can't just "open this up," especially not if the only person enjoying the open door is a guy who won't even bother to play with my tits anymore.

What is this, Dan? Are these guys not cut out for monogamy? Is there a way to say, "You have become so shockingly bad at sex that it's destroying my self esteem and making me want to leave," to a guy without totally dooming the relationship?

Any Advice Appreciated

P.S. When I hear stories about married women "cutting off their husbands" I always wonder how many of them are only being offered like this. Don't straight men realize that we can tell the difference between being fucked with relish and masturbated into?

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State Lawmaker Wants to Do Away With Stupid Time Changes

More time to shred? Surfs up, bruh!
More time to shred? Surf's up, bruh! Artem Peretiatko

On election day, California voters approved Proposition 7, a ballot initiative that grants state lawmakers the power to extend Daylight Saving Time and implement Pacific Standard Time (PST) all year round. Now, a couple of lawmakers in Washington and Oregon are pushing for the rest of the west coast to join in.

State Sen. Jim Honeyford, a Republican from Sunnyside, told KNKX that he plans to introduce a measure that would make (PST) last year-round in the coming legislative session, as does Sen. Kim Thatcher in Oregon. It is not, however, the first time Honeyford tried to make permanent Standard Time happen in Washington state: In 2017 and 2018, bills sponsored by Honeyford failed to make it out of committee.

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83 Stranger (Than Usual) Things To Do in Seattle This Week: Nov 20-25, 2018

Enter a whimsical Seussian wonderland at the Shertaon Hotels Whoville-themed Gingerbread Village, opening Tuesday.
Enter a whimsical Seussian wonderland at the Shertaon Hotel's Whoville-themed Gingerbread Village, opening Tuesday. J Reed

Our arts critics have already recommended 39 great things to do this week and our music critics have picked the 23 best music shows, but there are still hundreds more events happening. To prevent some of the quirkier and more extraordinary ones from slipping through the cracks, we've compiled them here—from a Whoville-themed Gingerbread Village to a Britney Spears Dance Party, and from the Seattle Aquarium's Diving Santa show to GeekCraft Expo Seattle. For even more options this week, check out our Thanksgiving calendar and our complete Things To Do calendar.

Stay in the know! Get all this and more on the free Stranger Things To Do mobile app (available for iOS and Android), or delivered to your inbox.


1. The Golden Girls Trivia Night
In addition to questions about the show, this Golden Girls trivia night will include theme-song sing-alongs, prizes, clips from the series, and a special performance by Betty Wetter.

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Etsy meets Comic Con at GeekCraft Expo, a Handmade Mega-Market for Nerdy Crafts

Gifts for geeks! Support your local nerds by shopping 100+ local crafters & makers offering the most unique and absolute geekiest handmade goods on the planet! And on Sunday, you can enter to win free tickets to an advance screening of the upcoming Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse from Sony Pictures!

Pre-register now for FREE via Eventbrite; otherwise, admission at gate for 13 & older is $2 per person (12 & under are free).

Don't Bring Bad Beer to Thanksgiving, You Turkey!

Aaron Huebner at Bottleworks knows that you shouldnt bring stupid beer to Thanksgiving.
Listen to Aaron Huebner at Bottleworks. Don't bring stupid beer to Thanksgiving. Lester Black

Mediocre beer does not belong on the Thanksgiving table. Thanksgiving is the best holiday so we should treat it as such and pair the meal with fine beer. Put something interesting, something unique, and most of all something local on your Thanksgiving table.

You live in Seattle so this isn't a difficult task to complete. You are in one of the world's best beer-making regions, finding a great local beer is exceedingly easy. And Thanksgiving is a meal fit for beer pairings. Nothing cleans the sticky fat of gravy off your ribs better than a beer that's dry and fizzy. (If you have a fear of gluten you might want to check out Capitol Cider's Thanksgiving cider pairing flight for gluten-free ideas.)

So what beers should you bring? I asked two great bottle shops, Full Throttle Bottles in Georgetown and Bottleworks in Wallingford what they thought would work well with Thanksgiving. Here’s what the experts say:

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Completely Preventable Chicken Pox Outbreak at Waldorf School Shows Liberals Can Be Anti-Science Too

Unfortunately for Juniper, her mom doesnt believe in vaccines.
Unfortunately for Juniper, her mom doesn't believe in vaccines. South_agency/Getty

Asheville, North Carolina—a bucolic town in the Blue Ridge Mountains where both the popular 20th-century novelist Thomas Wolfe and the unpopular 21st-century blogger Katie Herzog were born—recently made headlines after almost a quarter of students at one private school came down with chicken pox because so few of the parents vaccinate their children. Don't you just love it when your hometown is in the news?

According to the Asheville Citizen Times, a Waldorf School (surprise) is at the heart of the outbreak, which is the largest in North Carolina since a vaccine went on the market over 20 years ago. Of the Waldorf School's 152 students, 36 have so far come down with the disease and a full 110 members of the student body are not vaccinated. The state Department of Health and Human Services tracks rates of unvaccinated children, and at that particular school, 19 of the 28 children enrolled in kindergarten during the 2017-'18 school year were exempted from at least one vaccination. With nearly 70 percent of students forgoing vaccinations at their parents' request, that's an even lower vaccination rate than on Vashon Island, where nearly a quarter of students didn't get their shots in 2015.

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PSA: Toss Your Romaine Lettuce Until Further Notice

Throw it out. Were not eating it anymore.
Throw it out. We're not eating it anymore. Aniko Hobe / GETTY IMAGES

The Washington Post has a special announcement from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration: throw away your romaine. Burn it. Compost it. Stomp it. Don't buy any at the store, don't buy those creepy salad mixes that might contain romaine, don't order it at a restaurant, and if you own a restaurant, then take it off the menu.

The Centers for Disease Control claims that the lettuce, which used to be a sacred Egyptian sex symbol because it looks like a dick, could be contaminated by a nasty strain of E. coli. From the Post: "32 people in 11 states have become sick from eating contaminated romaine. Of those, 13 have been hospitalized, with one patient suffering from a form of kidney failure."

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Your Ultimate Guide to Where to Eat Out For Thanksgiving 2018 in Seattle

Flout tradition with Wild Gingers turkey marinated in five-spice and turmeric and stuffed with sticky rice.
Flout tradition with Wild Ginger's turkey marinated in five-spice and turmeric and stuffed with sticky rice. Wild Ginger

Whether the only thing you know how to make is reservations, or you simply don't feel up to the daunting task of cooking dinner for a crowd, we've got you covered. We've compiled all the places serving Thanksgiving dinners (like Tilth and RN74) and ones that are offering catering and pick-up options. Note: We advise you to make your reservations as soon as possible, as many of these locations may already be fully booked and deadlines are fast approaching for pickup orders—many of them are today. Call ahead to make sure. For more Turkey Day options (including concerts and fun runs) check out our complete Thanksgiving calendar.

13 Coins
As an argument in favor of your spending the holiday with them, beloved 24-hour restaurant 13 Coins offers simply that they've "been roasting turkeys for 50 years," which is hard to debate. Tuck into a traditional Thanksgiving feast with a pumpkin-spiced bundt cake from their swanky black booths and high-backed leather chairs, available at the Pioneer Square, SeaTac, and Bellevue restaurants.

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The Path to Investigating Trump's Border Troop Stunt Probably Runs Through Seattle

Seattle area Congressman Adam Smith
Seattle area Congressman Adam Smith is poised to become Chair of the House Armed Services Committee in January. Karen Ducey / Getty Images

Remember when President Trump declared a national emergency a week before the midterm elections and sent more than 5,000 United States soldiers to the border with Mexico to fend off a bogus "invasion"?

Well, now that the election's over all that "invasion" talk has magically evaporated and the bored, demoralized troops are suddenly coming home—though many will probably still have to spend Thanksgiving carrying out the end stages of the absurdly named "Operation Faithful Patriot." Will anyone be held accountable for this military-abusing stunt?

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Pot Is for Sale in Massachusetts, Signaling the End of Federal Prohibition

When pot wins over New Englands older people federal prohibition will end..
Prediction: Federal prohibition of weed will end when pot wins over New England's older people. Ron Wurzer / Getty Stringer

Can you hear that sound? It’s pot prohibition’s death knell.

Legal pot is now on sale in Massachusetts, bringing legal pot closer to more Americans than ever before. Today is the first time recreational pot has ever been sold east of the Mississippi (where the majority of Americans live), and this part of the country is still hostile to cannabis.

There is, of course, some support for legal weed in New England, but only 53 percent majority of voters supported legalization in Massachusetts (Washington passed its legalization with a 55 percent majority six years ago) and many of the state's politicians argued against it, including the governor, Boston's mayor, and many Democrats in their state legislature. You might have an uncle in Worcester who has been growing pot since you were a baby, but your uncle isn't representative of the state. In 2017, only 7.9 percent of people over 26 in the Northeast reported consuming pot in the last month, compared to 11.5 percent in the West, according to the federal government's largest drug use survey. New England is very far outside of the West Coast's green bubble of pot love.

And do you know what happens when legal weed goes into hostile territory? Legal pot makes friends.

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The Long Winter

Originally published on Nov 22, 2007.

Paul Hoppe

I had been staring at a wall of frozen pizzas for 15 minutes. Freschetta, DiGiorno, Red Baron, Tombstone. I didn't even want pizza. I looked pathetic, in slippers and an oversized Dance Hall Crashers hoodie that I almost never wear in public because, as a rock writer, I don't like to flaunt my undying love for uncool mid-'90s ska bands. But I didn't care. It was almost 1:00 a.m., and I had been at the Ballard Safeway for 45 minutes and only had three oranges in my basket to show for it. And I knew I wasn't going to eat those oranges, so I had no idea why I was carrying them around except maybe to make it look like I did eventually plan on buying something.

This was two years ago, the first week of November, and a familiar depression had sunk in. I was doing just enough to get by every day without setting off any alarms among friends and coworkers. I was already suffering from a broken heart and a bruised sense of self-worth, and it all became magnified by the same cloud of uncontrollable sadness that had been making regular visits in my life since I was about 13. I was familiar enough with my history to recognize what was happening, but like always, I was unable to stop it.

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Four Transgender Day of Remembrance Events in Seattle Today


Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR), an annual observance honoring the memory of those whose lives were lost in acts of anti-transgender violence. Accordingly, there will be several Seattle events tonight—see details after the jump.

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Seattle's Best Happy Hours for You and Your Dog

West Seattle Brewing Co.
West Seattle Brewing Co. Jessica Stein

When I moved here a few years ago, the first thing I noticed is that Seattleites bring their dogs everywhere. The bus. The market. The gym. Record stores. Starbucks. All of it drove one serious point home: Seattle is a city for dog people. Nowhere is this more apparent than at local watering holes. Search "dog friendly" bars and clubs in The Stranger's event database, and you get more than 200 hits—and this despite the fact that according to Washington State law, it's illegal to bring anything other than service animals (defined as "trained to perform tasks for the benefit of a person with a disability") onto the premises of food service establishments, including bars. But this prohibition is only enforced when an inspector is faced with a serious health risk or blatant violation—i.e., your pet is at the bar or restaurant during an inspection. Which means that if your four-legged pal isn't acting up (barking, crapping on the floor, chewing stuff up), you're probably all good. Here are some recs for happy hours where your well-behaved fur baby is welcome. LP

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They Say Cannabis Is Bad for Your Memory. Is That True?


If you happened to be reading the UK's Daily Mail this past July (and, really, who wasn't?), you may have seen a headline with disturbing implications for the stoners among us. "Long-term use of cannabis... impairs memory, concludes researchers," the headline read.

The truth, like most things, is more complicated. Researchers in this particular study found that long-term exposure to cannabinoids—the compounds found in weed—led to "significant" memory impairments. These impairments were confirmed by brain scans, which found that memory-related structures like the hippocampus were smaller in research subjects exposed to cannabinoids.

In fact, after long-term exposure, those same research subjects were unable to distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar objects. It looked like bad news for committed stoners—who wants to forget what a toaster looks like?

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Water Dancers, Led Zeppelin, and a Dead Cat: The Brief History of the Green Lake Aqua Theater

The view from the stands at Green Lakes Aqua Theater
The view from the stands at Green Lake's Aqua Theater Seattle Municipal Archives

Green Lake's small craft center is about to get an estimated $6.5 million remodel. That should happen sometime in 2019. The remodel will add a second floor and more boat storage. It will be surprisingly swanky, according to the 3D views in this Parks and Rec powerpoint. Its splendor, however, is dwarfed by the history of its neighboring Aqua Theater.

There are only skeletal remains left of the once-grand Green Lake amphitheater. The current craft center rests on a plot of land where more than 5,000 people watched synchronized swimming, water ballet, and rock concerts from 1950 to 1970. It was started during Seattle's first Seafair. But, just like other old Seafair traditions at Green Lake, the shows at the Aqua Theater ceased.

In 1984, hydroplane races on Green Lake—a tradition since the '20s and popularized during Seafair—were banned. The races drew large crowds and the ire of the surrounding neighborhood. The noise, to them, was cacophonous. People complained. Sasha, a five-year-old snow leopard, gave birth to two cubs that summer at the Woodland Park Zoo. She also gave unhappy Green Lake residents a cause. The rumbling purr of the hydroplane engines darting across the lake distracted Sasha, she kept looking to the sky and couldn't juggle investigating that mystery and mothering her cubs. Two weeks later, one was dead. Curiosity had killed the cat, neighbors claimed. Community uproar ensued. Hydroplanes were forbidden. Green Lake returned to the idyllic, sleepy quiet it preferred.

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