Imagine this but with cream.
Imagine this but with cream. Marc Piasecki/Getty

Yes, the rumors are true: Last week, COVID-19 got me! Luckily, my symptoms were mild and my angelic friends and family kept me fed. Stay safe out there! But now I'm back and ready to round up this morning's news. Let's get to it!

Big news: Chipotle is opening a drive thru in Shoreline today called, erm, Chipotlane, reports KOMO's Seattle Refined. It's not set up like a McDonald's or Taco Bell drive thru, however, as it's mainly for people who order online to pick up their meals without having to get out of their car. The first 50 people there will get free Chipotle merch. It opens at 10:45 A.M., so you car owners reading this still got time!

Let them eat cake? At the Louvre this weekend, a man disguised as a woman in a wheelchair got up close to Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, dove underneath the guard rope, pounded on the glass protecting the painting, and smeared what appeared to be cake or cream all over it. According to police and social media videos, the man's reasons for doing so were vague. He proclaimed he did it because of both environmental destruction and a desire to be jailed, reports the New York Times. Louvre officials said the protester did not damage the painting, and workers promptly cleaned up the mess so tourists could continue to crowd around the painting.

The first funerals for the victims of the Uvalde school shooting are being held today: Maite Rodriguez and Amerie Jo Garza, both aged 10, were laid to rest nearly one week after a gunmen stormed into a classroom at Robb Elementary School and killed 19 students and two teachers. The Daily Beast reports that the victims' families and locals are still rightfully enraged at the deeply incompetent and slow Uvalde police response to the shooting, which may have contributed to more death. “I guess you can’t buy bravery,” Javier Cazares, father of victim Jacklyn Cazares, told the Beast. “I mean I was there right outside and we heard the shooting. We were ready to go inside and the police just waited.”

Meanwhile in Canada: In response to the Texas shooting, the country introduced a bill that would put a "national freeze" on "buying, importing, transferring, and selling handguns," reports The Washington Post. The legislation would "allow judges to temporarily remove firearms from people deemed to be a danger to themselves or others and stiffer penalties for gun smuggling and trafficking." The government also plans to introduce mandatory buyback programs for owners of banned weapons.

Yikes! Nancy Pelosi's husband, Paul Pelosi, was arrested for drunk driving on Saturday after he smashed his Porsche into another car in Napa County. The BBC reports the 82-year-old was charged with two misdemeanors and had his bail set at $5,000 (he got let out, though). No word on what exactly Paul's blood alcohol level was at the time of the incident. Wine'll get you!

Sad news: Last night, Converge Media's Omari Salisbury announced that the Morning Update Show will end after this week. In a blog post, Salisbury said his decision to step down from the show stemmed from the toll the last two years have taken on his mental and physical health. He wrote that he "sustained several injuries during the Seattle Protests" that "still need to be addressed." In his place, Salisbury's colleague TraeAnna Holiday will step up with The Day with Trae to replace the Morning Update Show.

Time to pay your dues to Mount Rainier She's out this morning!

Two-hour police chase yesterday ends on Capitol Hill: The cops over at the Seattle Police Department told the Seattle Times that they first got word of the suspect lurking around Volunteer Park and throwing rocks through windows in the area. They also said the guy shot at them after they tried to stop him on the road later on. Separately, this incident was one of ten shootings in Seattle over this Memorial Day weekend.

Speaking of me getting COVID: Back in March, Gov. Inslee said he wouldn't lift the mask mandate if the COVID hospitalization rate was more than 5 per 100,000 people. But as of last week, Washington's COVID hospitalization rate is 7 per 100,000, a number that has only been increasing over the past few weeks, reports Q13. For perspective, when Inslee lifted the mandate, the hospitalization rate was 2.5 per 100,000. Though both Inslee and Lt Gov. Heck both contracted the virus, the department of health said they have no intention of bringing back the mandate but "are strongly recommending" masks be worn indoors for the time being. Just...something to ponder...

No more Russian oil for you! On Monday, European Union leaders agreed to a near total ban on Russian oil imports by the end of the year, reports AP. The move would cut 90% of oil imports but still allow places like landlocked Hungary to get the dinosaur juice by pipeline. Other sanctions include an "asset freeze and travel ban on individuals," banning Russian state-owned broadcasters from the EU, as well as removing huge Russian bank Sberbank from SWIFT, a financial transfer system used by the EU. The same conference also agreed on giving Ukraine $9.7 billion in financial aid.

The search for the Supreme Court leaker is getting heated: Three sources told CNN that officials at the court are now demanding law clerks to turn over their phone records and sign affidavits to root out the person who leaked to the press the decision overturning Roe v. Wade. Some clerks are "so alarmed" they have "begun exploring whether to hire outside counsel" in response to these efforts, which CNN called "unprecedented."

Floating wetlands sound like a dream: On Saturday, volunteers with Friends of Green Lake installed two floating wetlands on Green Lake as a way to "restore aquatic habitats in urban waters," reports MyBallard. These new lake features are named Taiga Wetlands after the late Taiga Hinckley, who worked at the Greenlake Boathouse Center. MyBallard has some cool illustrations of the wetlands, but if you have any pictures from this week's installation, I'd love to see them!

New gallery alert: C & P Coffee in West Seattle is now home to the city's newest Little Free Art Gallery. H/t to West Seattle Blog.

For your listening pleasure: Steve Lacy's "N Side."

Correction: In the news brief about a suspect prowling a Volunteer Park neighborhood, we originally wrote that the cops and suspect engaged in a "shoot-out." The cops say they did not fire back at the guy, and so it wasn't a shoot-out. We regret the error.