Slow the fuck down for orcas!!!!!! The state is asking big ships to chill out and go slower while traveling through Puget Sound so as to not further endanger orcas that have called this body of water home for hundreds of years. According to KOMO, this will add around 10 to 20 minutes of travel time, but what is 10 to 20 minutes compared to saving the lives of beautiful sea beasts? 

Another asshole celebrity acquires a social network: After several weeks of offensive antics, Ye f.k.a. Kanye West just announced his intentions to buy conservative social media website Parler, reports CNN Business. For those of you not on Ye watch, the rapper has been locked out of Twitter for making antisemitic comments, so this Parler acquisition is all about a gross twisting of his ~free speech~ rights. Something tells me Ye isn't equipped to moderate all the violent rhetoric on the platform...

Washington Democrats are outraising their GOP opponents in crucial races: According to Crosscut, Rep. Kim Schrier in the purple 8th Congressional District raised $1.95 million this quarter compared to Republican challenger Matt Larkin's $584,000. And in the 3rd Congressional District down in southwest Washington, Dem hopeful Marie Glusenkamp Perez has raised $2.1 million in the last quarter compared to Trump-supporting candidate Joe Kent's $650,000. While more money does not equal victory, it's certainly hopeful. 

New public art alert: Perri Rhoden, Marsha Rollinger, Malayka Gormally, and Allyce Wood have all installed murals along the Ship Canal, stretching from Ballard to Fremont, reports MyBallard. The installations are the result of a partnership between Seattle Public Utilities and the Office of Arts & Culture. We love to see it. 

Things are going very wrong in the Metaverse: A year after Mark Zuckerberg announced Facebook's rebrand, more news keeps coming out about how sucky Meta's metaverse is for the company. According to the Wall Street Journal, Meta's flagship metaverse, Horizon Worlds, has less than 200,000 active users, and most visitors "generally don't return to the app after the first month." Who would've guessed!

Everything is expensive: Halloween candy has risen about 13% (nice) in price thanks to inflation and the rising cost of sugar.

A $275 million verdict reached in Monroe toxic exposure case: A jury awarded 275 big ones to ten students and parents who have suffered "serious neurological injuries from a chemical exposure" at Sky Valley Education Center in Monroe, reports AP. This is the fourth lawsuit against Bayer Pharmaceuticals—which owns polychlorinated biphenyl manufacturer Monsanto—to result in a multimillion-dollar payout. The company says they intend to appeal this ruling.  

I'm sure you know this and I'm just covering my bases, but ICYMI: The Mariners lost to the Houston Astros in one of the most chaotic games on Saturday. The game lasted a staggering 17 innings. No points were scored until the Astros' Jeremy Peña hit a home run at the top of the 18th, clenching victory for the Houston team. "I feel like this is just the beginning for all of us," Mariners rookie Julio Rodríguez told the New York Times yesterday. Fingers crossed. 

The unionization wave comes to Tacoma Art Museum: Yesterday, TAM workers announced their intention to join the Washington Federation of State Employees, reports the Seattle Times. If successful, they'd be Washington's "first museum with unionized workers across departments." They are calling for better wages, more transparency, and a greater voice in museum decisions. TAM board president Jeff Williams told the Times he received the workers' letter asking for their union's recognition, but it's "too early" to determine if the museum will voluntarily recognize them. 

Just so you know, John Legend's vote for King County Prosecutor is clear: A Redditor helpfully pointed out that the musician has become an advocate for criminal justice reform. You can find out if the Stranger Election Control Board agrees with Legend's pick soon enough...

So, we are reversing the one-drop rule? In the case before the Supreme Court over whether or not to gut the Voting Rights Act, GOP state officials are trying to narrow the definition of Blackness so they can continue to dilute the Black vote. That means these fuckers have called for "narrower definitions of Blackness that do not include people who also identify with another minority group." Pure insanity. 

No, there's no serial killer stalking south Seattle: Too many people I know shared a copypasta from a giant Instagram account randomly claiming that a serial killer had murdered several women in the same way and that cops were secretly investigating. Several outlets have debunked that literal IG screenshot, with the Seattle Police Department and King County Sheriff's Office saying no such investigation existed. Cops and anonymous, sourceless social media accounts should be treated with similar scrutiny. 

Quarters get a new face: The beautiful visage of the first Asian American Hollywood actress, Anna May Wong, will be imprinted on over 300 million quarters by the U.S. Mint this year. After breaking into Hollywood over a century ago, Wong will be the first Asian American on U.S. currency. 

Seriously: Stop buying from Shein

For your listening pleasure: Elliott Smith's "Speed Trials." Manifesting fall.