Good morning, sloggers: In case you have not checked the weather app on your phone this morning, allow me to give you a quick forecast. Tuesday will get off to a rainy start with yesterday’s showers expected to linger until about 10 am. After that, skies will dry up and temperatures should heat up a few degrees from the low 40s to the upper 40s in the afternoon. The clouds are likely here to stay all day, but your best chance to see the sun will be around 5 pm, just before it sets around 5:18 pm. So, the sky might look cool or something. 

Fake hidden immunity idol: This morning, a federal appeals court rejected former President Donald Trump's claim that he's "immune" from prosecution, a desperate argument he made to avoid legal consequences for his alleged attempts to overturn the results of the 2020 election. His spokesperson said Trump "respectfully disagrees" with the decision and will appeal it.

Border deal ordeal: House Republicans vow to block the Senate’s bipartisan, anti-immigrant border deal. No, it's not because they have finally come around on relaxing the US’s borders. The bill lumps together many issues, including allocating $60 billion for Ukraine and $14.1 billion for Israel. House Republicans said they want to vote on a standalone bill on aid to Israel, which seems like the most popular of the package’s three components. The GOP suggested toughening up border policy as a condition for approving more money to foreign allies, but then former President Donald Trump advised against the move, mostly because he wants to keep the border issue alive for this campaign. He said on Monday, “Don’t be stupid.” Listen to Trump all you want, but President Joe Biden said he would veto the bill if it did not include the border policy changes and the aid to Ukraine. Glad to see all these losers working together to kill this shit. 

Solidarity with the I-5 protesters: The Washington State Patrol said it will “recommend” charging at least six protesters who blocked I-5 to call for a ceasefire in Gaza. The agency is still investigating another ten people. The protesters will likely face misdemeanor charges for “disorderly conduct,” said Chris Loftis, a State Patrol spokesperson.

First real week: The new Seattle City Council kicked off its first real week after pausing all activity to appoint their bestie, fail-up Tanya Woo. This week will be the first time any of the six new members lead committee meetings. As I previously reported, the council will no longer have a Renters’ Rights committee! Fun! 

Speaking of City Council: The new head of council central staff introduced the members to the budgeting process. A projected quarter-billion-dollar budget deficit took center stage in the 2023 campaign, and many of the conservative candidates promised to order an audit on the City budget to find inefficiencies before they would consider imposing new taxes on the rich. Well, Council Member Rob Saka, one of the most audit-pilled of them all, appeared to switch up his position in the briefing yesterday, saying a full budget audit would not be feasible. I’ll probably be back on the blog with more on this because the statement his office sent me made me even more confused lol. More to come.

Should Have Been a Cowboy: Jingoistic country superstar Toby Keith died at 62 after being diagnosed with stomach cancer in 2022. He sang such atrocities as "The Taliban Song," and bangers such as "Red Solo Cup."

Love in lockup: In The Stranger’s Love and Sex issue, Antoine Davis writes about how he proposed to his wife from prison. Davis wrote, “Having been incarcerated since the age of 21, some days are a battle to see my life as having intrinsic value. Despite accumulating a college and seminary education while in prison, I remain restricted to a system that reduces me to a still photo attached to a prisoner’s identification number. My wife offered me something that altered the mannequin-like feeling of being incarcerated, something that gives an exhilarating meaning to the experience of what it means to be human—love.” Please read his whole story and the rest of the issue while you’re at it. 

King has cancer: Buckingham Palace announced yesterday that King Charles III, age 75, has been diagnosed with an unspecified form of cancer. The Royal family is trying to keep the messaging positive, insisting that the King "remains wholly positive about his treatment and looks forward to returning to full public duty as soon as possible,” but the internet is certain that he will die.

Mommy murks the monarchy: Queen Elizabeth II’s death in 2022 coincided—give or take a few days—with the birth of controversial YouTuber Trisha Paytas’s first child. The internet exploded with jokes that her daughter was actually Queen Elizabeth II reincarnated. When Paytas announced her pregnancy with her second child, the joke theory deepened, with Twitter and TikTok users insisting the birth would take out another royal. With Paytas’s due date quickly approaching and the King’s recent health scare, the internet is back on its bullshit. I don’t believe in reincarnation, much less the Paytas theory, but if reincarnation’s real, then I hope King Charles III reincarnates as a bug and someone in India or Ireland gets to squish him. 

Sounds bad: Scientists are having trouble communicating the strength of hurricanes as they become more powerful with climate change. So, scientists want to create a new "category 6" on their standard 1 to 5 scale. According to The Guardian, five storms in the last decade would have fit the bill for category 6, and we will likely see more of those mega storms as the climate crisis worsens. 

I love when people throw shade: Here’s Jay-Z at the Grammy’s this weekend, using his acceptance speech as an opportunity to say what the BeyHive was already thinking.