Weather: Today will be mostly sunny with a high of 63 degrees. Enjoy it while it lasts, because the rain’s just backstage, doing vocal warm-ups for its big return in the next few days.

Gates Foundation Calls It Quits: Mark your calendars for December 31, 2045. That’s when the Gates Foundation will be shutting its doors for good. Since 2000, they’ve thrown over $100 billion at public health and claimed to have cut worldwide childhood deaths in half, because nothing says progress like fixing problems with the same obscene wealth that helped create them. Bill Gates, in full humblebrag mode, told the New York Times, “We went from 10 million childhood deaths to five million,” and insists they’ll keep shrinking that number because apparently, “the Golden Rule was not repealed.” In the next 20 years, he plans to spend down the entire endowment of the foundation, and much of his personal wealth, he told the Times. Nothing says do unto others like hoarding enough cash to play God for a couple more decades before peacing out.

Ferguson Signs Rent Cap: Well, lookie there, Governor Bob Ferguson can do something remotely progressive. Yesterday he signed a law capping rent hikes at 10% a year for most tenants, making Washington the third state to put rent stabilization on the books after Oregon and California. So now, landlords can only jack up rents by 7% plus inflation or 10%, whichever is lower. New buildings (12 years old and younger) and certain owner-occupied properties are exempt. Most folks are celebrating because, hello, no more outrageous rent hikes, but others, like the landlord advocacy group Rental Housing Association, are freaking out, claiming it’ll kill the housing market. Right… Bottom line: it’s a win for renters, but we’re just scratching the surface of the housing crisis.

Judge Says No to Libya Deportations: The Trump administration is reportedly planning to deport migrants to Libya—yes, Libya, the place that happens to have a Level 4 travel advisory for crime, terrorism, and armed conflict—using US military planes to ship people off like Amazon Prime for human suffering. Fortunately, a federal judge quickly reminded Terror 47 that shipping human beings off to a war zone without notice or a chance to contest it blatantly violates his order, but hey, when has the law ever slowed down the empire? Judge Brian Murphy, who had already blocked the administration from deporting people to countries other than their own, made it clear: “The Court sees none,” when it comes to any doubt that these deportations would break the law. Meanwhile, Libya itself is saying, “We never agreed to this,” but since when has consent ever mattered to Trump? 

Cops Who Killed Tyre Nichols Walk Free: Three former Memphis cops—Demetrius Haley, Tadarrius Bean, and Justin Smith—just walked free on all state charges, including second-degree murder, for the 2023 beating death of Tyre Nichols. Now, let’s get this straight: they were convicted of witness tampering in federal court but somehow (mostly) skated on civil rights violations—because apparently, beating a man to death just isn’t quite enough evidence. Civil rights lawyers called it, “a devastating miscarriage of justice,” which is the polite way of saying, “What in the actual fuck?” Meanwhile, the DOJ found out Memphis cops have basically been running their own Fight Club with a badge—so maybe, just maybe, it’s time we stop acting shocked when the system does exactly what it was designed to do.

We Got A New Pope: It’s official. This morning, white smoke billowed from the Vatican chimney, meaning we officially have a new pope. Behind locked doors, a conclave of 133 cardinals decided which one of them is holiest, like a cosmic game of Catholic bingo. Any minute now, he'll step onto that balcony, wave to the masses, and remind us that God is watching...but apparently only through their eyes.

Stagflation Nation: The Fed just rang the stagflation alarm as the U.S. economy sags under Trump. Inflation’s creeping up, jobs are shaky, and the culprit—surprise!—is “volatile trade activity,” a.k.a. Trump’s tariff chaos. In a flailing attempt at distraction, Trump is hyping a sad little trade deal with the UK, while U.S. trade officials lean on countries battered by those same tariffs to make room for Starlink internet service, sold by Nazi-loving absent-daddy Elon Musk.

DOGE Wants Your Data: In more Musk news, what could go wrong with a massive, centralized government database run by the Nazi-saluter? According to the Washington Post, Musk’s little doges are quietly hoarding personal information on Americans. Civil rights advocates and some federal employeees are  are warning this isn't just hacker bait — it’s a handy little tool for targeting political enemies or screwing with access to public services.

Columbia University Crackdown: On Tuesday night, more than 100 students at Columbia University occupied Butler Library, renaming it the Basel Al-Araj Popular University in honor of the slain Palestinian intellectual. Their demand: that Columbia divest from Israeli apartheid and genocide. The response: riot cops and repression. According to NBC News, NYPD and Columbia security trapped protesters inside the building and refused to let them leave unless they handed over their IDs. Protesters reportedly laughed at the demand. At least 78 people were detained. “We refuse to go down quietly,” said the students in a post-raid statement.

UW Suspends 21 Students: The Columbia crackdown comes just as the University of Washington suspended 21 students accused of occupying a new engineering building in protest of the school’s partnership with Boeing, a company whose weapons have been used in Israel’s assault on Gaza. Police arrested at least 31 people during that occupation, with the university claiming "significant damage" to equipment—though no full estimate has been released. Some students are now banned from all UW campuses. Student group SUPER UW said in the social media statement that many students sustained injuries from the SPD, “some to the extent of hospitalization.” 

Adios High-Capacity Magazines: The Washington State Supreme Court just upheld the state’s ban on high-capacity magazines, shrugging off a lower court’s gripe that it was unconstitutional. In a 7-2 decision, the justices declared that magazines packing more than 10 rounds aren’t “arms” protected by state or federal constitutions, meaning the 2022 law stands—no buying or selling these ammo hogs in Washington, though you can still hang on to the ones you’ve got. Justice Charles Johnson wrote that high-capacity mags aren’t crucial for self-defense and Gov. Ferguson pointed out their outsized role in mass shootings and insisted that sensible gun laws don’t trample your right to pack heat. Maybe if you need 30 rounds to feel safe, the problem isn’t the magazine—it’s you.

Medicaid Cuts Threaten Care Facilities: Trump’s cutting Medicaid, and guess what? Long-term care facilities in Washington, like Edmonds Care, might close, leaving millions of elderly and disabled folks out in the cold. A simple 5% cut would force massive layoffs and could shut down 65% of these places—people would have nowhere to go. And with the number of seniors needing care on the rise, this isn’t just bad, it’s a crisis. If you care about your fellow humans, maybe pick up the phone and tell your reps to stop treating human lives like they’re the damn Squid Game.

From Real Housewives to Holocaust Memorial: So, Trump decided to swap out Biden’s picks for the Holocaust Memorial Council with his usual lineup of sycophants, including—wait for it—Real Housewives of New Jersey star Siggy Flicker. Yes, you heard that right. The same Siggy whose stepson was arrested for storming the Capitol on January 6th is now in charge of overseeing a museum dedicated to one of the darkest periods in human history. If you watched her on TV, you know she probably believes “Never Forget” is a trending hashtag, not a solemn mission. 

Behold, LimeGliders: Seattle is now the first city to roll out LimeGliders—scooters that look like bikes, because why not make transportation even more confusing? Lime’s betting big on the Emerald City to test out their latest and greatest, using our city’s hills, rain, and general weather chaos as the ultimate proving ground. So now you’ve got 3,000 of these LimeGliders on the streets, alongside e-bikes and stand-up scooters, all while we’re trying to stay at the top of the micromobility game. Just don’t forget your helmet, because when you inevitably eat it, at least you’ll have some protection while questioning your life choices!

Next Step in Council Ethics Changes: Later today, the City Council’s Governance, Accountability & Economic Development Committee will be deliberating on whether to ditch the whole “recuse yourself if you’ve got skin in the game” rule. You know, that pesky ethics thing that says if you might make a few bucks off a vote, maybe don’t vote on it? Instead, they want council members to just disclose their conflicts and keep right on voting. It basically amounts to, “Yeah, I might get rich off this, but at least I told you first!” If you’re downtown today at 2 PM, maybe swing by City Hall, grab the mic during public comment, and remind them that ethics aren’t just vibes—they’re rules for a reason. Should the proposal pass out of committee, it could head to a full council vote as early as May 20.

Yes, as I mentioned to kick off Slog AM, the sun is shining today, so it might feel a little odd to suggest a morning sing-along to "Can You Stand the Rain." But damn it, it’s R&B singer Desmon Dennis’ birthday, so shout out to him and his soulful cover of New Edition’s ultimate slow jam.