The Queen is dead: Queen Elizabeth II died at Balmoral Castle in Scotland today. She was 96 years old. With her death begins Operation London Bridge, a “meticulously choreographed and coordinated procedure for which the palace, the government, the news media, the local authorities and the queen herself had long planned,” writes The New York Times.

Here’s what we know so far: 

  • Prince Charles is now King Charles, though The Guardian says “the coronation may be months away.”
  • Camilla will be crowned Queen.
  • According to the BBC, the Queen will “lie in state in Westminster Hall for about four days before her funeral.”
  • Her funeral will be held at Westminster Abbey, probably on September 19, according to My London.
  • Her corgis, dorgis, and cocker spaniels will probably go to… ANDREW!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! 

Required reading today: From The New Yorker in April, “The Collateral Damage of Queen Elizabeth’s Glorious Reign.” There are some phenomenal one-liners in there. 

Speaking of “brain-melting privilege with the agency of a root vegetable” (seriously, read that New Yorker piece): “Trump’s investigation could now be delayed for months or even years,” writes VOX. Judge Cannon’s unprecedented ruling could be overturned! But also, may could not.

Steve Bannon pleads not guilty: The former chief strategist surrendered today to face a slew of charges, including money laundering, conspiracy, and scheming to defraud, all in connection with his nonprofit We Build the Wall Inc.

As Bannon entered the courtroom he said, “They will never shut me up, they’ll have to kill me first.”

Second stabbing suspect is dead: Police found Miles Sanderson, the second suspect in the Saskatchewan mass stabbing, but the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said he went into “medical distress” after being arrested and died, CNN reports. 

“When a man with a pistol shows up outside a congresswoman’s house”: Rep. Pramila Jayapal spoke to The Washington Post about what happened the night an armed man harassed her and her husband outside her home.

King Inslee relinquishes his throne: After two years of tyranny, the Governor plans to bring the COVID-19 state of emergency to an end in Washington on Oct 31, according to The Seattle Times. On Halloween, the ten remaining emergency orders will lift, including the vaccine mandate for state and health care workers and an order that prevents jurisdictions from prohibiting mask-wearing or requiring proof of vaccination. But state employees aren't going to get out of protecting people against the virus that easy. "Inslee has announced a plan to make vaccines a permanent condition of employment for state workers, and is now finalizing requirements that will provide incentives, but not a mandate, for booster shots," the Times reports. 

Seattle Public Schools continues to fail to meet teacher demands: So the teachers are still on strike. 

Facebook tried it with Eli Sanders: In today’s new installment of his Wild West newsletter, former Stranger reporter Eli Sanders tells a head-spinning story about how Facebook attempted to subpoena his reporting records.

As promised in Slog AM: Planned Parenthood Action Fund President Alexis McGill Johnson held a press conference to clown on Sen. Patty Murray’s pro-life chalenger, Tiffany Smiley. Dr. Eileen Gibbons, a physician who provided abortions for 20 years said, “A fetus in the womb is a very convenient thing to fight for. You don’t have to feed it, house it, clothe it, educate it, provide medical care for it, but once it’s born it’s on its own. No, it’s not about the babies. It’s about controlling women’s bodies because they’re an easy target.”

Metro cuts bus service: Rather than just piss off riders by missing a bunch of scheduled arrival times, King County Metro plans to cut trips on "nearly 60 bus routes," The Seattle Times reports. Routes headed from the suburbs into Seattle during peak hours saw the biggest cuts. The agency blames the move on staff shortages and ridership reductions. 

Workers keep dying in trenches: After a trench collapse killed a worker in Renton, KING 5 reports that the Washington State Department of Labor & Industries will conduct an investigation into the cause of this incident, which may shed light on the disturbing trend of trench deaths sweeping the nation. According to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, 22 workers died in trenches this year compared to 15 last year. 

The Dearly Departed Queen visited Seattle when Rich was negative 2 years old: KIRO 7 has the story. She came in a huge yacht and met privately with "a select number of Seattle area dignitaries." If she had met with Rich, he would have told her to sell her land and give Jamaica the money

The Langston Hughes Performing Arts Institute turned 50: On Saturday, Mayor Bruce Harrell will be on hand in the Central District to celebrate the long history of Black artists and audiences that have filled the historic building over the years. Elizabeth Turnbull has the story for Capitol Hill Seattle blawg. Haven't stopped thinking about Roger Guenveur Smith’s Rodney King since it played there in March of 2016. 

Smoke’s comin’:

Where will I get banana split milkshakes????: West Seattle Blog reported yesterday that Luna Park Cafe is temporarily closing later this month. Owner John Bennett told the blog, “Unfortunately we came to the decision to temporarily close in order to do some much-needed systems updates. We don’t know how long this will take us since we want to be the best we can be when we do reopen!” They’re open 8 am to 3 pm daily through September 18. 

What we do in the shadows: Archaeologists have uncovered the remains of a “vampire” in Poland. The woman was buried with “a sickle around her neck and a triangular padlock on her foot,” writes CBS News. A representative for the research team said the tools “may have protected against the return of the deceased, which was probably feared. In this context, these practices can be considered so-called anti-vampiric.”

And now, a song named after the most (only?) likable members of the royal family: