FTC tells Microsoft to cut the crap: The government agency is suing the tech giant over their $69 (nice) billion acquisition of Activision Blizzard, saying it'd give Microsoft "both the means and motive to harm competition," reports CNN. FWIW, if the deal went through, it would make the Redmond-based company the third largest video game publisher in the world.
Hear ye, hear ye, all you angsty, aging millennials: The Postal Service and Death Cab for Cutie have announced a joint tour that'll kick off next year to celebrate the 20th anniversaries of Give Up and Transatlanticism respectively. They're playing Climate Pledge Arena on October 7, 2023.
Shroom House is no more: Portland's infamous (and illegal) shroom dispensary got raided by the police this morning, reports KOMO. The cops seized over $13,000 in cash and a shitload of shrooms and arrested four people. Though shrooms have been decriminalized in the state, it's still illegal to sell them in a dispensary setting. I hope people got a good stash from it, at least.
Brittney Griner is now officially out of Russian custody: CNN has live updates on the situation, but the wrongfully detained WNBA star is on a flight to the States as we speak. She's expected to land in San Antonio and be transported to a medical facility, where she will be reunited with her wife. United Arab Emirates president Sheikh Mohamed and Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman (yeah, that guy) led negotiations between Russia and the United States. The footage of the handoff of Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout and Griner looks like something out of a movie. Glad she's on her way home.
Russian state media release footage of the Brittney Griner and Viktor Bout prisoner swap: https://t.co/TuMxKvMmmI pic.twitter.com/xVgtQjrGbf— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) December 8, 2022
Time isn't real: The South Koreans will get a year (or two) younger today after the country's government made changes to their age-counting system, reports NPR. Previously, people went by their "Korean age," where they are one year old at birth and gain a year every January 1, even if they were born on December 31. Now, parliament officially moved to the international age-counting system wherein you age a year on your date of birth.
Burien landlord found guilty of murdering tenants: Jessica Lewis and Austin Wenner's dismembered remains were found in a suitcase on Alki on June 19, 2020. And today, their landlord, Michael Lee Dudley, was found guilty of murdering and dismembering them, dumping their remains in bodies of water around the city, reports KING 5.
126 Metro buses are out of commission: King County Metro has identified a steering system issue in the buses and has taken them in for service, reports the Seattle Times. Unfortunately, that means Metro needs to reduce weekday trips by 10% to accommodate having fewer buses and there isn't "a timeline for when the work will be completed and supply chain challenges may introduce delays." Check here to see if your route has been suspended.
In power grid news: The FBI sent Washington law enforcement a memo about attacks on Pacific Northwestern power grids, similar to the one carried out on two substations in North Carolina, reports KING 5. Apparently, some of the attacks have taken place "within the last couple weeks." Here's part of that memo:
"Power companies in Oregon and Washington have reported physical attacks on substations, using hand tools, arson, firearms and metal chains possibly in response to an online call for attacks on critical infrastructure. In recent attacks, criminal actors bypassed security by cutting the fence links, lighting nearby fires, shooting equipment from a distance or throwing objects over the fence and onto equipment."
Update: we've learned of 2 more NW grid attacks: Cowlitz County PUD says vandals cut fences, damaged equipment at 2 substations near Woodland, WA (~20 miles N of Portland), in Nov.— John Ryan (@heyjohnryan) December 8, 2022
Known total of recent NW attacks now 6: 4 in WA, 2 in OR.
Your marriage? I respect it: The House passed the Respect for Marriage Act today, which will enshrine "federal protections for same-sex and interracial marriage," reports CNBC. The bill became necessary after many were worried that the conservative extremist Supreme Court might undermine people's right to marry whomever they want. Jesus. It's been sent to President Biden's desk for his John Hancock. Fuck the 169 fuckers who voted against the bill.
Jerrod Carmichael is hosting the Golden Globes: Just using this as an excuse to prod you into watching his comedy special, Rothaniel, which I thought was brilliant. Hopefully, his energy will make that disastrous awards show fun again.
We're with you Céline Dion: Today, the iconic singer announced that she'd been diagnosed with a rare neurological disorder called stiff-person syndrome. According to NPR, the incurable disease "causes severe muscle spasms and stiffening in the limbs." Dion says she's working with her sports medicine therapist to build back her strength.
AOC is being investigated by the Office of Congressional Ethics: No word on why, but the committee said that the fact of a referral "does not itself indicate that any violation has occurred, or reflect any judgement on behalf of the committee."
The third season of South Side is getting good reviews: Thank God.
Don't fucking throw marshmallows or trash into lava flowing from Mauna Loa: "Not only is that bad for the environment and people are trespassing, but it's disrespectful to Hawaiians and their love for Madame Pele and the culture of Hawaii," Hawaii County Mayor Mitch Roth said in a news conference yesterday. THINK, PEOPLE!
For your listening pleasure: Feeling kind of melancholy today. Here's Tsegué-Maryam Guèbrou's "Homesickness, Pt. 2."