How did I miss this very important story? It was posted by the Courier-Herald before Christmas, before the cars slipped and slid and crashed all over the icy place (more about this tomorrow). But Joni the wolverine, who "made headlines in 2020 after rearing two male kits, making her the first wolverine mom at the park in more than 100 years," said fuck you to history (and extinction) again and "had another two kits in 2021—a boy and a girl—starting a streak of successful parenting." You are an inspiration to us all, Joni. You are life as what it always strives to be: a force of nature.
Want some regrets? Here are lots of regrets. RIP, 2022.
I truly am sorry, @hannahkrieg @TheStranger pic.twitter.com/PaaxKsXYLZ— Seattle Weather Blog (@KSeattleWeather) December 30, 2022
You see. If you let the police just be the police, just do their thing, then this story will always be the outcome: "Stolen purse leads to chase, crash and arrest of man on his birthday in Sumner." The purse was packing. Meaning, it had a gun in it. KIRO 7 is more than happy to report this story with a happy ending: "[The] man accused of stealing the purse... will be celebrating his 33rd birthday in jail."
Jesus died at 33? Maybe. But what I want to think about is what the pro-cop public imagines are the thoughts running through the mind of the accused as he cools behind bars: "Just look at me. I'm in jail. I've done everything wrong with my life. Didn't go to church. Played hooky too much. Stayed up late. Fornicated. My mother will cry. My father will never speak to me again because he now knows he raised a bad man. Society caught up with my evil ways."
Today in the George Santos show, the most unbelievable show in the world. New York Post: "Congressman-elect George Santos’ web of lies has gotten even more tangled after he stated last year that the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks claimed his mother’s life—only to tweet months later that she actually died of cancer in 2016." Damn! We have yet to see anything like a bottom to this GOP politician.
To lose your mother on 9/11 may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose her again on 12/23 looks like carelessness. pic.twitter.com/UKaxUJTNH4— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) December 29, 2022
But does truth really matter? There is little in this society that is in any way true, and this can be said of those on the left and those on the right. And this has nothing to do with whataboutism (Biden and Warren lied, and so on), but that the left really believe they can extract truth from a system whose reality content is completely bankrupt to begin with. There is only fiction in a capitalist economy, something Karl Polanyi understood. But the left promises that somehow they can convert this fiction into the real stuff. Trump, Lake, Santos have no such illusions. But Biden does. This is why, when gas prices were very high, he couldn't be honest to voters and say: For starters, we should not be burning fossil fuels. But instead, he devoted every political tool available to the reduction of the cost of liberating carbon and accelerating our journey to the end of our world.
And this is how the whole world-historical Small Dick Energy tweet ended. With the arrest of none other than Mr. Smalldickenergy, Andrew Tate.
So...Elon Musk let Andrew Tate back on Twitter, and Tate promptly used it to reveal his whereabouts to authorities in Romania who then arrested him.— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) December 29, 2022
All because Greta Thunberg owned him so hard his little wee-wee fell off.
Do I have that right? Please say I have that right.
Be Careful What You Wish For!— Rula Jebreal (@rulajebreal) December 29, 2022
Andrew Tate & his brother have been arrested in Romania, as part of a human trafficking investigation.pic.twitter.com/due21qQoNn https://t.co/Eyhiq2qiip
And how did Romanian authorities know he was in the country? Supposedly because in his video response to Greta's tweet, he revealed he (a wanted man with so many fancy, gas-guzzling cars) was in Romania. The pizza boxes in the video he made are Romanian. The authorities were looking for him and finally found him eating Romanian pizza.
Romanian authorities needed proof that Andrew Tate was in the country so they reportedly used his social media posts. His ridiculous video yesterday featured a pizza from a Romanian pizza chain, Jerry's Pizza, confirming he was in the country.— Alejandra Caraballo (@Esqueer_) December 29, 2022
This is absolutely epic. pic.twitter.com/kyz4pqegkJ
What happens when you fuck around? Yes, this happens. Can we agree that this fuck around/find out business has the aspect of a law that might be included in the Standard Model of reality?
Pelé (or Edson Arantes do Nascimento) is dead. The age of his departure: 82. Now, I do not much care for the "beautiful game," but I do recognize Pelé as being (in my childhood) a part of a politically charged Holy Trinity that included Muhammad Ali and Hank Aaron. They are now all shades. Time is us, time makes us, time devours.
Let's end PM with a funky Brazilian track, Jorge Ben Jor's "Ponta de Lança Africano (Umbabarauma)," which is a celebration of Africa Brazil.