Political consultant and Trump ally Roger Stone has been denied a retrial: Trump attempted to claim jury misconduct but a federal judge wasn't having it: "Stone is able to appeal over the next two weeks, but may be ordered to report to prison to serve his 40 months—at earliest, two weeks from now."

Following in the high-heeled footsteps of San Francisco and other cities around the world, Seattle Pride officially canceled its parade this June. Instead, Pride is looking into hosting "virtual events" that could substitute the official parade and festivities. PrideFest organizer Egan Orion told Capitol Hill Seattle Blog: "We are looking to late summer dates and hope it’s safe enough for us to hold large community gatherings at that point."

A new piece in the Atlantic on USA’s massive under-testing problem is, as they say, disquieting:

America’s 20 percent positivity rate is disquieting. The U.S. did almost 25 times as many tests on April 15 as on March 15, yet both the daily positive rate and the overall positive rate went up in that month. If the U.S. were a jar of 330 million jelly beans, then over the course of the outbreak, the healthcare system has reached in with a bigger and bigger scoop. But every day, 20 percent of the beans it pulls out are positive for COVID-19. If the outbreak were indeed under control, then we would expect more testing—that is, a larger scoop—to yield a smaller and smaller proportion of positives. So far, that hasn’t happened.

A headline I wasn't expecting: John Mulaney Has Become the Muse of TikTok’s Makeup Artists

Another headline I wasn't expecting: I’m Working Remotely. Can I Keep Hiding My Secret Baby?

I guess everything is unexpected lately.

A coronavirus vaccine is "the ultimate weapon," but what do we do when the coronavirus mutates? The New York Times thinks it out:

Like all viruses, SARS-CoV-2 is mutating as it passes from person to person. A “mutation” is just a change in a virus’s genetic code. Most mutations don’t really change how the virus functions.

And:

For a brand-new virus like SARS-CoV-2, there is no widespread immunity. This virus is encountering few immune hosts who could halt its spread. Since the virus doesn’t need to change to survive, mutations that could modify the shape of the antigens—if they exist at all—are likely rare, and will stay rare.

But:

If people become immune to the dominant strain, either by fighting off the virus or through vaccination, the game changes. Versions of the virus with mutations that get around the population’s immunity are more likely to spread, and can then develop into new strains.

Read the whole op-ed on COVID-19 mutations: Here.

Brian Dennehy is dead: You might not know his name, but you probably know his face. His daughter announced his death on Thursday and said he died of natural causes, not COVID-related.

The actor Brian Dennehy, whose career spanned more than 50 years in theater, movies and TV, has died at age 81https://t.co/gskkjAGOWs
— The New York Times (@nytimes) April 16, 2020

It's #NationalHornyDay: Do with that what you will.

Joining ghouls around the country, Tim Eyman will be participating in a "rally" to protest Jay Inslee's successful leadership through this pandemic:

Are you fed up? I am too.

Join us this Sun 1-2pm @ the Capitol in Olympia: PROTESTING JAY INSLEE (6 feet apart). This was started by 2A Patriot and Pierce County GOP committee member Tyler Miller. But Sunday's rally has become even more critical now that Inslee has exported decision-making to California's Governor. If you can't join us, here's what I'll be saying (from 6 feet away):

By the end of the year, which will have caused more damage to people's lives, livelihoods, and liberty: Jay Inslee or COVID-19?

I take back what I wrote earlier. Not everything is unexpected lately. This response from Eyman is very expected.

Trump unveiled new federal guidelines to help states loosen their social distancing restrictions: Pinch to zoom if you're reading this on mobile.

If that's too tiny for you... You can read through the guidelines here.

Trump on Monday: "The President of the United States calls the shots."
Trump on Thursday: "You are going to call your own shots."

Are the people in your household getting on your nerves? The Times has some suggestions: embrace a team mindset, talk sooner rather than later, take time outs, talk about the future...

Leslie Jordan is a blessing: Follow him on Instagram. It'll help you get through quarantine.