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The people want Britney Spears freed (from an estate conservatorship)!
The people want Britney Spears freed (from an estate conservatorship)! Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty

Do you want to offer up your healthy body to a COVID vaccine trial? Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center is in the middle of coordinating several vaccine trials, two of which are looking for 1,700 volunteers in the Seattle area. They are specifically working on the AstraZeneca vaccine, says KING 5. Go sign up to offer your bod to science.

Loren Culp lost the gubernatorial election in King County by the widest margin in at least four decades: Culp only received 25.5% of the vote here in King County, where the GOP has lost significant ground with voters. The Seattle Times does a temperature check on the Grand Old Party in the state's most populous county here.

Trump is the projected winner of Alaska: Not a big surprise, but with 76% of the vote in, Donald takes home Alaska's three electoral votes.

Conceding defeat is so 2016: In the Senate race up in Michigan, GOP challenger John James has refused to concede his loss to Democratic incumbent Sen. Gary Peters. Following the idiot lead of his idiot president, James has started a legal defense fund—a joint James campaign and Republican National Committee endeavor—to challenge the 85,000 ballot difference between him and his opponent.

Speaking of shady Republican defense fund$...Trump has set up two funds—his own personal fund and joint fund with the RNC—asking his supporters for money to "protect the integrity of the election." Well, that's a bit of false advertising, as The Guardian reported that contributions to both funds "are earmarked for paying off Trump's re-election debts." Here's how that breaks down:

On Trump’s personal fund, it dictates that of all donations raised, only 50% will go towards a recount effort, and that “50% of each contribution, up to a maximum of $2,800 ($5,000), [will] be designated toward DJTFP’s 2020 general election account for general election debt retirement until such debt is retired”.

On his joint fund with the RNC, the donations work as follows: “60% of each contribution first to Save America, up to $5,000/$5,000, then to DJTP’s recount account, up to a maximum of $2,800/$5,000. [And] 40% of each contribution to the RNC’s operating account, up to a maximum of $35,500/$15,000.”

This essentially means that depending on the size of your donation, a large portion of any donation won’t go to the “recount” bid but will instead go to the Super Pac sponsoring the bid, and the Republican party.

#FreeBritney hits a snag: A US Court rejected Britney Spears's attempt to remove her father, Jamie Spears, as conservator of her estate. He has served as her legal guardian for 12 years over concerns about her mental health, reports the BBC. Britney's lawyer says she was "afraid" of her father and that they have no "viable working relationship," not having spoken in a "long while." Fans who are part of the #FreeBritney campaign—an organization that believes Britney is being held against her will under the conservatorship—demonstrated outside the court hearing in solidarity with the pop star. Despite her loss, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Brenda Penny said she'd consider future petitions for Jamie's suspension or removal as conservator. So there's hope yet!

Texas's Lieutenant Governor is offering up to $1 million from his campaign for anyone who brings forward evidence of voter fraud anywhere in the country: “I support President Trump’s efforts to identify voter fraud in the presidential election and his commitment to making sure that every legal vote is counted and every illegal vote is disqualified,” said Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick in a statement. After that orange fuck leaves the Oval Office, I never want anyone to hear the phrase "legal vote" ever again.

I think Lt. Gov. Patrick should focus on this other 1 million: COVID cases, that is. Texas became the first state to hit one million total coronavirus infections, accounting for a tenth of the positive tests in the United States.

The U.S. also hit another grim coronavirus milestone yesterday: With one million new confirmed cases in just the first 10 days of November. In case you missed the news, Washington public health officials are begging everyone to cancel their holiday plans and stay the fuck home for Thanksgiving this year. Dry-ass turkey is just not worth getting or giving someone COVID.

COVID outbreak at Auburn Medical Center leaves one patient dead, eight infected: Five staffers have also tested positive for coronavirus and are recovering at home currently. The hospital has isolated infected patients into one unit and will continue to monitor those who tested negative, reports the Seattle Times.

There's also another outbreak at St. Michael Medical Center in Bremerton: Four patients and two employees have been infected with coronavirus at the hospital. Back in August, a bigger COVID outbreak at St. Michaels infected 73 people and caused 3 deaths in what appeared to be "the largest outbreak at any general hospital in the Puget Sound."

Another day, another Spanish amateur art restorer destroying a priceless artwork: Over in the dusty town of Palencia, Spain, a carving of a smiling female figure was the victim of a clumsy restoration that left her face looking like one of Floop's Fooglies. Others thought the face looked like Donald Trump, but I agree to disagree on this one.

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger calls for a by-hand recount of the 5 million ballots cast in the presidential race: President-Elect Joe Biden is leading Trump in the Peach State by more than 14,000 votes or 0.3%, reports CBS. With election certification only nine days away in Georgia, Raffensperger said a by-hand recount would be a "heavy lift," but a necessary one. “This will help build confidence. It will be an audit, a recount and a recanvass all at once.”

Bookmarking this to read (and cry over) later: Vulture's "A Wake for Alex Trebek."

Did you forget that the Trump admin banned TikTok? Don't worry they did, too: TikTok is calling for a review of actions of the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States because they claim they haven't heard from the committee "in weeks," says The Verge. There's a deadline this week for their parent company ByteDance to sell off US assets after the Trump administration brought up national security concerns. The video sharing app applied for a 30-day extension, but "hasn't received any communication on the matter" leaving it unclear what would happen if the divestment deadline passed.

For your listening pleasure: "Gimme More" by Britney Spears, which is able to articulate desire in ways I'm still trying to figure out.