A Real Whodunnit

Just noticed "Jeff Bezos" in the corner. / Megan Leonard

Shoutout to Megan Leonard for sending me this bad boy she spotted in the Cafe Racer bathroom. The beloved Belltown theater has been closed since before the pandemic for "surprise renovations" and laid off most of its staff with no notice. And then it just... never reopened despite everyone and their mom basically begging it to. The late Paul Allen's Vulcan Inc. recently told the Puget Sound Business Journal that there is "no news to share at this time" as they just sit and do nothing with this Seattle cultural institution. Tech billionaires ruin everything!

A Many-Layered Sticker

Don't Google this, lol. / Natalie Dupille

Thank you Natalie Dupille for sending this Fremont sticky my way. No conspiracy theories here—I'm a definite believer in the prostate orgasm. But there's definitely a double entendre here, right? Like, prostate/pro-state? Are the tops of the carrots the shape of a country? What am I not getting?!

I Don't Think This Is True

Spotted in Capitol Hill. / JK

Seattle actually really loves DJs!

A Vibe

I like how hostile the message is vs. the material. / JK 

I'm saying this to my student loan company so I don't have to make this month's payment...

Hats off to This

Spotted on The Kraken Bar & Lounge in the U-District. / JK

The more I work in news, the more I believe this to be true. Thanks, Joan Cornellà, for this one. 

As always, if any of these stickers belong to you, please e-mail me at jkeimig@thestranger.com.