Wednesday 1/11
You Just Need to Lose Weight by Aubrey Gordon
(BOOKS) As a dedicated listener of Maintenance Phase—the podcast co-hosted by Your Fat Friend Aubrey Gordon and Seattle-based journalist Michael Hobbes—I've learned everything I could ever want to know about Moon Juice, Goop, Sex Dust, and the truly fascinating rise and fall of Olestra, the fat-free, calorie-free food additive that became infamous for supposedly giving a bunch of people oily butt discharge in the 90s. Beyond debunking goofy wellness trends, Gordon is also a seriously vital voice of reason in society's toxic debates about obesity. In her new (as in just-released-yesterday) book You Just Need to Lose Weight and 19 Other Myths About Fat People, Gordon digs in harder than she ever has before to truly take to task and disprove the misinformation and lies that have managed to survive generations. From "Fat acceptance glorifies obesity" to, my personal favorite, "Being fat is a choice," Gordon debunks it all. Thursday's conversation with Lindy West at Town Hall has been postponed due to illness—refunds are available at point of purchase or your ticket will still be good for the new date when it's announced—but you can still buy the book today. (Available at local bookstores and online at bookshop.org—our calendar EverOut will post the rescheduled date for Gordon's talk at Town Hall as soon as it's available) MEGAN SELING
Thursday 1/12
Everything but the Bagel Donut from Dough Joy
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(FOOD) Here's my hot food take: Everything bagel seasoning is wasted on bagels. It's too much! It's too messy! Everyone knows sesame bagels are the best bagels and it's not even close! You know what everything bagel seasoning is good on? Basically everything else. Salads, avocado toast, celery sticks with cream cheese, mixed nuts, eggs prepared pretty much any way, especially deviled, vanilla ice cream, and donuts. Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams already proved that everything bagel ice cream can (and should forever) be a thing, and the donut wizards at local plant-based donut shop Dough Joy have mastered an example of the latter. That blend of salt, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, dried onion, and garlic is the perfect savory, crunchy topping for one of Dough Joy's sweet, sugar-glazed clouds, and they finish it off with a dollop of cream cheese icing, which mellows the garlic and onion perfectly. Plus, if you go to the West Seattle location, you can treat yourself to a new plant friend at Dough Joy's sister store Botanic at the Disco. Disco ball hanging planters! (Dough Joy, 4310 SW Oregon St in West Seattle, 8 am-2 pm and 1316 E Pike St on Capitol Hill, 8 am-3 pm) MEGAN SELING
Friday 1/13
1969: A Solo Show by Ariel Parrow
(VISUAL ART) On Friday, Gallery Ergo in Pike Place Market will host an opening fête for Ariel Parrow's new show, 1969. The Seattle-based artist deals in the visual language of capitalism and consumerism—slick fonts, even slicker subjects. You might recognize her sculpture work from XO Seattle which featured "HELLO THERE," an installation that shifted depending on where you stood in the room. Parrow's show at Gallery Ergo will feature a body of new work, featuring both paintings and sculptures. She often paints glimpses of people's bodies that look eerily familiar but in a context you can't quite recall. It's spooky and beautiful all at once. (Gallery Ergo, 1501 Pike Place, Ste 314, 5 pm, free; the show is hanging through Feb 6) JAS KEIMIG
Saturday 1/14
Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood: Scared Scriptless
(COMEDY) It’s time for a night of nonstop laughter with Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood, the stars of the Emmy-nominated show Whose Line Is It Anyway?! These masters of improvisation are bringing their quick wit and unpredictable scene-creation and scene-stealing to the Moore and you can be a part of the show, as audience members are invited onstage to join in the chaos. I'm personally mortified by the idea of intruding on a professional performer’s scene, but then again it’s all part of the experience, and Mochrie and Sherwood seem to know what they’re doing, so what the hey. Bring your suggestions and get ready to overcome your stage fright for a night of weird, wild comedy. (Moore Theatre, 1932 Second Ave, 8 pm, $32) MATT BAUME
Sunday 1/15
Biblioteka, Steal Shit Do Drugs, and Appaloosa
(MUSIC) Fuck resting on Sunday—you should go to a show. Specifically, you should go see Biblioteka headline at Neumos. The Seattle-based band melds garage rock, new wave, and punk all in one with gutsy aplomb that will get your body moving. Their latest release, Pretty Ugly, is a fun psychedelia-infused venture, featuring the frenetic, guitar-driven highs of tracks like "Tick Tock" and semi-spacey, blissed-out cuts like "Miss U." Noted Seattle bands/punks Steal Shit Do Drugs and Appaloosa will be on deck to open. Go into Monday with some rock 'n' roll dignity, why dontcha. (Neumos, 925 E Pike St, 8 pm, $15-$20) JAS KEIMIG
(PARTY) Let your hair down, fly high, and get your kink on at Pigs Fly! The wildest, queerest, leather-clad, go-go dancing, heart-pumping, pig-flying, flirty extravaganza of the year is the perfect place for kinkster dudes, dxdes, dudettes, friends, and admirers to come together and let loose. Prep your finest leather and fetish apparel and leave your shyness at the door for the tightest, wildest party in town, featuring vinyl on both the turntables and bodies. Also, side note: have you ever seen a pig fly? Because I haven't and I am very excited to see if it will happen. As if the queer-as-fuck vibe wasn’t enough, feast your eyes on the special guests: DJs SPRKLBB and Kevin Kauer (Nark) + Sammy Calanthe of Bottom Forty are going to bring the heat, and a phalanx of go-gos will get your motor running as will the hunky hosts, Double Dragon (that’s Damian Dragon of NYC and Kemono Dragon from Hawaii). It’s nice to know that after all we’ve been through, we can still take a load (off) with the pigs. See you horny hogs sweating on the dance floor. (The Cuff Complex, 1533 13th Ave, 8 pm, $20)
Monday 1/16
Seattle MLK Jr. Coalition 2023 March and Rally
(SOCIAL JUSTICE) When attending this year's Seattle MLK Jr. Coalition 2023 March and Rally, keep in mind that, in our times, Seattle is the base from which one of the most brazenly racist attacks on American blackness was launched. The key figure in this project is Christopher Rufo, who once ran for a seat on Seattle's City Council. Now he is the GOP's go-to anti-woke guru. And anti-woke only means white people prefer their colored people to be sleepy. That is it and nothing more. What was once conventional, teaching MLK's message and ideas, is now considered to be woke. Our times are still in danger. The spirit of MLK must be taken seriously. The west coast's "longest running MLK" march begins at Garfield High School at 12:30 pm. (Garfield High School, 400 23rd Ave, an opportunity fair and workshops begin at 8:30 am, the rally begins at 11 am, and the march starts at 12:30 pm) CHARLES MUDEDE
Tuesday 1/17
(FILM) When I first saw Desperately Seeking Susan sometime in the early 90s, as a bright-eyed, innocent 10 year old, I saw it as a how-to guide for becoming as cool as its star, Madonna. Rosanna Arquette is Roberta Glass, just "a housewife from Fort Lee, New Jersey" and Madonna is Susan, a rock 'n' roll babe who doesn't give a fuck. When Glass gets mistaken for Susan and, after a moped accident, comes to believe she is Susan, the movie (directed by Susan Seidelman!) becomes an antics-filled romp, but also a playbook on living your best life, Madonna style. Steal! Be friends with magician's assistants! Sleep with a young hairy and hunky Aiden Quinn! Wear a lot of jewelry! No, even more jewelry! Go to jail! Get caught up in a mobster's murder! Make friends while you solve crimes! If you're feeling stuck in life, like a plain Jane housewife from New Jersey, head down to Grand Illusion to see this perfect 80s time capsule in all its 35 mm glory to be reminded that you can be whoever the fuck you want to be. (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th, 7:30 pm, $5-$11) MEGAN SELING
