The Love & Sex Issue 2024

I Find My Love Awake

The Ram-ifications of Breaking Your Own Rules

Love in Lockup

How I Proposed to My Wife from Prison

The Books of Love

A Poem Recommendation for Every Stage of a Relationship

Where to Pickup a Copy of The Stranger's Love & Sex Issue

It's Currently Available at Hundreds of Locations Around Seattle!

Washington Needs a Strippers’ Bill of Rights

New Proposal Reduces Fees on Dancers, Increases Security

The Stranger's Love & Sex Issue

Horny Poetry! Top Shortage Confirmed! How Sex Work Built Seattle! And Hundreds of Reader Valentines!

Take a Tour of Seattle’s Former Dens of Vice

Seattle Was Built on Sex Work—and Many of Those Buildings Are Still Standing

The Stranger’s 2024 Sex Survey Results

Orgies Slightly Up, the Binary Is Breaking, and Seattle’s Top Shortage Confirmed

Hundreds of Reader Valentines

Roses Are Red, You’re Looking Cute, One of These Love Notes May Be About You

Damn, Seattle!!!

More than 4,600 of you took the time to tell us all about your hottest thots, your sexiest sex, and the contents of your extremely well-appointed sex toy collections.

That’s 1,000 more responses to our annual sex survey than we received last year! We thank you. Science thanks you. The world thanks you.

Though we added more people to the rolls, this year’s results share much in common with last year’s. We did, however, note a few fascinating divergences. Plus, we asked some brand new questions that yielded some interesting results.

Okay, enough pillow talk. Grab your lube and a vibrator (we know most of you have one), and let’s hop in.


In brief: You are likely a cis man or woman between the ages of 26 and 45, and you’re probably at least a little gay.


This year, cis men accounted for 42% of the respondents and cis women came in second at 41%. Nonbinary baddies gave us 8% of the answers, 3.5% came from genderqueer folk, and trans men and women tied at around 1.7%. About 2% marked other, and a handful ID’d as two-spirit. The demographic profile matches last year’s sex survey almost perfectly, though we saw an increase in participation from our trans siblings this year.


Most of the people who took this year’s survey did not identify as straight. Among the LGBTQ respondents, bisexuals accounted for 20% of the population. That share represented the largest cohort among our non-straight respondents. Gallup found that bisexuals make up 60% of the rainbow.

Among people who identified as queer, 33% were cis women, 28% were nonbinary, and 11% were cis men. Ninety-three percent of people who ID’d as gay were cis men.

Of those questioning their sexuality, most, 68%, identified as cis women.

Among the straights, 58% were cis men and 39% were cis women, so we were a little man-heavy in that department this year.


Like last year, nearly 40% of you fell between the ages of 25 and 35, 26% of you have survived somewhere between 36 and 45 years, 12% of you are currently reconciling yourselves with your 50s, 6.5% reached ages between 56 and 65, and 2% were older than that. Oh, if only these were turnout numbers.


The younger you were, the less you identified as cisgender. Nonbinary representation stood out strongest among young adults: 18% of respondents aged 18-25 identified as nonbinary, as did 10% of those aged 26-35. Yes... yes... MORE.


Most people in monogamous relationships preferred to stay in monogamous relationships, but more than 22% of them would prefer adding -ish to that status, which matches last year’s results.

Most single respondents weren’t looking for monogamy: 31% want a monogamish relationship, 8% want non-monogamy, 3% want a polycule, and 14% prefer to keep their options open. About 44% were looking to lock it down. (See pie chart for reference.) Sexuality and age gave us a little more insight into who’s looking for what. Most straight people wanted monogamy (64%), and nearly half of lesbians (49%) did, too. 

Meanwhile, about 73% of people who ID’d as queer and pansexual/omnisexual weren’t looking for The One. Same goes with about 78% of gay men. People between the ages of 18 to 25 expressed the strongest preference for monogamous relationships (54%), while those aged 46-55 and 76+ expressed less interest (39% and 30%, respectively).


Nearly 80% of lesbian respondents were under 35, so enough with that transphobic nonsense about lesbian extinction!


Most gays (64%) were Dems. Most lesbians (43%) and queers (38%) were socialists. Solidarity.


Two things we know with nearly 100% certainty: Trump will be the Republican Presidential nominee in 2024, and most sex-survey-takers (76%) would rather kill him than marry him or hop into bed with him.

Respondents also favored fucking and marrying former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley. Like his presidential campaign, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis flopped bigly.


All told, most of you have had sex with fewer than 25 people, and a little more than quarter of you have had sex with fewer than 10 people. Cis men reported having sex with the highest numbers of partners, a figure driven mostly by gay men, 56% of whom said they’ve had more than 50 partners. God bless and never change.


Like last year, 70% of you were either married or in a relationship when you took the survey. Hope that’s still going well. That leaves 30% of you single and dreading to mingle.


About 58% of survey-takers have not cheated on a partner sexually, and most who have (62%) did not confess their infidelity. Those numbers are pretty much flat compared to last year. 

The older you were, the more likely you were to have reported cheating. 

Cis men and women cheated at similar rates–40% and 39%, respectively. Trans women were the most loyal, with 76% saying they’d maintained boundaries flawlessly.


Though cis men reported higher body counts, cis women reported slightly higher satisfaction with the sex–about 66% said they were very satisfied or somewhat satisfied.

Twenty-five percent of cis women and nonbinary respondents said they were “very satisfied” with sex, beating out the rest of the listed genders. Trans women and intersex people reported the highest levels of dissatisfaction.

The older you were, the less satisfied you were with the sex you’re having. A possibly connected data point: The older you were, the more you preferred to be single.


Most of The Stranger’s survey-takers (76%) did not have children, which is much higher than the national share (40%).


The Stranger has confirmed that it really is hard to find a top in Seattle. Among gay men, tops made up 23% of the pool. At 37%, verses composed the lion’s share of the population, followed by bottoms at 30% and sides at 9.5%. Meanwhile, 10% of cis women and 14% of trans women ID as tops. You go, girls.


For people in prime working age (18-55), WFH hasn’t changed much about their sex lives. Slightly more respondents in that cohort (between 13-15%) say they’re banging more often than those who say they’re banging less often (10%) now that their bed is also their desk.


Nearly half of you (47%) have fucked a co-worker, and the vast majority of you (84%) have fucked fellow soldiers.

Both cis and trans women reported sleeping with their boss (~15%) slightly more than cis and trans men (9%).

As you might expect, the older you were, the more likely you were to say that you’d slept with a co-worker or an employee.


Nearly half of survey-takers (47%) said they’ve had a threesome, and nearly a quarter (24%) have participated in an orgy.

Orgies are up 3% and threesomes are flat compared to last year, so, based on 2019 levels, group sex participation is still slowly recovering from the COVID dip of 9%.

Majorities of gay men (83%), pansexuals (61%), queers (60%), and bisexuals (53%) have invited a third into the sack. Meanwhile, minorities of lesbians (39%), straight people (32%), and asexuals (21%) reported having threesomes.

Among those who have participated in an orgy (24%), most think they’re correctly rated, though more people think they’re overrated (27%) than underrated (11%).


Most people told The Stranger they fly their full freak flag with their partner, though 27% of respondents said they hadn’t revealed a sexual need and 11% said they hadn’t done it because they felt as if their fetish was too filthy. Judging by the filth levels detected in the responses to our fantasy question below, we think a little restraint may be a wise choice in some cases, you absolute perverts ;) 

At around 67%, rimming and group sex topped the charts among gay men. Submissiveness (70%), spanking (62%), and nipple play (60%) got cis women going the most. In general, nipple play (48%) and spanking (47%) ranked highest for the straights, though nobody liked bending over a knee more than people who identified as queer (68%). Nonbinary and two-spirit respondents showed the highest levels of interest in bondage, at around 73%. *Whip-crack.*

If you’re fixated on amputees (who deserve sex, too!!), poo-poo, robots, or getting swallowed whole, then you’re going to have a tougher time finding someone to help you meet that need.


All but 7% of us masturbated at least a couple times a month, but cis and trans men masturbated more frequently than cis and trans women.

Among people who said they masturbated “every damn day,” or who were too busy masturbating to answer the question, 61% identified as cis men and about 20% ID’d as cis women.


Most respondents only watched porn a couple days a week (35%), if at all (30%), but about 9% said they watched it “every day, baby.”

Surprise: 79% of daily porn viewers were cis men. See bar graph for reference. Most cis men reported watching porn at least three times per week, while more than half of cis women said they didn’t watch porn at all.

Relationship status appeared to have no impact on daily porn watchers–roughly one-third of respondents watched porn daily if they were married, in a relationship, or single. A daily porn habit was most common among those aged 26-45. Keep on wanking in the free world, everybody.


Most people (65%) reported sending sexts, but when they do they’re only sending a photo of their whole body 13% of the time. This is a tragedy, as the highest share of sextees (34%) want to see everything all at once.

Somewhat surprisingly, people only sent pussy pics 1% of the time.


Most of you keep a vibrator, a dildo, and lube within arm’s length. Like last year, 95% of cis women reported owning a vibrator, and now 53% of cis men report owning that toy, too. You go, boys.

All that said, the people most likely to own an arsenal include those who ID as trans, nonbinary, or genderqueer.


About 15% of respondents said they used a little chemical assistance to get the juices flowing. Unsurprisingly, age seemed to be the determining factor there.

Nearly 45% of gay men responded “yes” to this question, and we assume popper consumption accounts for a lot of that.


Most of you (58.5%) meet sexual partners through friends. Around one-third of you find lovers at parties, bars, on Tinder, and in “other” places.

Those numbers more or less hold across gender and sexuality, except 59% of gay men said they usually find partners on Grindr, and 42% said they find them on Scruff. Both of those numbers were up from last year; Grindr up 4%, Scruff up 10%.


Only 13% of respondents said they subscribed to an online sex worker site such as OnlyFans or ManyVids, though 35% of those who watch porn “every day, baby” subscribe to such sites.


Only 4% of you said you performed sex work of any kind, and for most it’s not your sole source of income. People who ID’d as queer represented the highest share of sex workers in our survey, and the highest share (34%) ID’d as cis women. Most sex workers were between the ages of 26 and 45.


On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not much at all and 10 being VERY horny, Stranger readers rated The Bear lead and sweaty Calvin Klein heart-throb an underwhelming 4. A quick scroll through the crosstabs reveals polarization–lots of tens and eights vs ones and zeros. We all stand baffled.


The share of people who reported having an STI increased a bit this year, up from 4% to 7%. Overall, most people are currently in or would enter into a relationship with someone who caught a long-term STI, which is encouraging for those of us who want to end the stigma. But a closer look at the crosstabs reveals that the LGBTQ community is much more accepting, as only minorities of straight people (32%) and people questioning their sexuality (45%) would enter into such a relationship.

Most gay men (60%) got their Mpox shot, up 3% from last year. Nice work!


Intersex and cis women reported the highest numbers of abortions, at 50% and 18%, respectively. The Guttmacher Institute found that about 25% of women will have an abortion by the end of their childbearing years.

We’re not sure if the 89 cis men who reported having an abortion were just trolls or if they were including themselves in the decision.


Almost everybody (98% of respondents) has fucked in a car, which is perhaps the most American statistic we can imagine.

Only 31% of people have fucked on a boat, which seems a little low given our proximity to water.

Twenty-two people reported fucking on the monorail. If you all were not lying, then please write to and explain when and how you fucked on that iconic form of public transit, and we will consider publishing the story as an I, Anonymous.

Fill in the Blanks


Stranger readers who like to get down with the stereo on listen to anything and everything. Genres mentioned include R&B, grunge, ‘80s hair metal, blues, ambient, jazz, “mellow love songs,” classical, “gangsta rap,” dance mixes, and 2010s pop (“Think Ke$ha or Katy Perry”).

Portishead and the Weeknd tied for the most mentions, though one straight cis man wrote, “If people are sincerely still listening to ‘Pony’ by Ginuwine or ‘Glory Box’ by Portishead during sex, they should be temporarily banned from the act.” Other artists who received multiple nods include Barry White, Cigarettes After Sex, Bad Bunny, Rihanna, Kaytranada, Beyoncé, and Arctic Monkeys.

Here are some more songs that set the mood—most are probably honest answers, but, c’mon, no one fucks to “Macarena,” right???

“Waterfalls Coming Out Your Mouth” by Glass Animals

“Pretty Please” by Dua Lipa

“I’ve Been Thinking” by Handsome Boy Modeling School

“Thinkin Bout You” by Frank Ocean

“Original Bedroom Rockers” by Kruder & Dorfmeister

“You’re the One” by Kaytranada

“Something About Us” by Daft Punk

“La Luna Enamorada” by Kali Uchis

“Deep” by Lizzo

“Macarena” by Los del Río

“Do Me” by Kim Petras

“Change” by Deftones

“Body” by Léon

“Dress” by Taylor Swift

“Lexapro Delirium” by Sewerslvt

“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails

“Tear You Apart” by She Wants Revenge

“Motivation” by Kelly Rowland

“West Coast” by Lana Del Rey

“Enter Sandman” by Metallica

“I lost my virginity to ‘Come on Ride the Train’ by the Quad City DJs if that counts.” (Yes. Yes it does.)


Appropriately, 69 of you said the sexiest thing you did in 2023 was participate in a threesome. Forty-four of you said participating in an orgy was a highlight, including one respondent who claimed they had an orgy in a “castle” outfitted with an “orgy room” that had a “glass ceiling”??? Sounds a little too fabulously vampiric to us, but okay.

Here are more of your sexiest moments of last year:

“Pegged while sucking a dildo while wearing a chastity tube.”

“Had sex in a really pretty bedroom in a corner unit of an old house overlooking Lake Union.”

“Fall in love.”

“Spit into the mouth of a Seattle pro athlete.”

“Masturbated alone in the desert at sunset.”

“Breath play.”

“Reunited with a favorite sex worker.”

“Got a vasectomy.”

“Finally took my partner’s cock the size of my

forearm anally.”

“Husband held me to the wall by my throat and fingered me.”

“I met my FWB at a strip club in Portland, where we paid for some dances, took edibles, and went back to my hotel room where he proceeded to gag me with his dick, jack off with my hair, and cum on my face.”

“Started working on my mental health.”

“Fucked by a friend in the pantry while my partner masturbated outside with cooking oil.”

“Had sex on the Fremont canal banks.”

“Get a blowjob in the ferry line from Bremerton.”

“Tried bondage for the first time (and loved it!).”

“Amazon position.”

“Had sex so full-body delicious that the next day I almost had to call in sick from work because my brain was not able to recover properly.”

“Paid my bills.”

“Got back with my old FWB and gave/received road head.”

“Went to a Depeche Mode concert with my husband.”

“Made my girlfriend my puppy.”

“Engaged in a purely sadomasochistic sexual relationship with someone who wanted me to hurt them until they cried while fucking them. Which is my ‘thing’ but have never allowed myself to indulge.”

“Strip Yahtzee.”

“Ask for a divorce and remember that I have a libido.”

“Added a girl to our marriage.”

“Sucked dick in the Arboretum.”

“Did cocaine and ate pussy for hours.”

“A complete stranger flirted with me by rubbing her fingers back and forth on my hand in a sexually suggestive manner.”

“Peeled a cucumber.”

Greg Stump


Without a doubt, the most popular bucket-list sex act among Stranger readers involved having sex with more than one person at the same time. More than 400 people are hoping for a threesome within their lifetime, and hundreds of others are shooting for a four-or-more orgy. 

Modes of transportation were also very popular in this category—cars, planes, boats, and trains (both kinds)—as was pegging, both doing it and having it done to you.

Here are more sex acts you hope to do before you die:

“Make a woman squirt.”

“Be gangbanged and used as a group cumdump.”

“Tarzan role play.”

“Someone sneezing inside of me while cumming.”

“Hit a celebrity on my list lol”

“I want to have group sex outside for a super, super long time. Snacks, drinks, saunas... it would be so good.”

“Be paid by men watching me masturbate.”

“Spit roasted by two women with strap-ons.”

“Eat a banana split from a sexy ass.”

“Finding the one who will give me like one day of a gentle Fifty Shades experience bc like I’m a sassy sub.”

“Suspend my husband in rope or leather bondage.”

“I want to have an orgasm that does not involve touching or penetration of my vulva or touching my nipples.”

“Sex in space.”

“In a church!!”

“I want to be able to have someone else put something up my butt without kicking them or freaking out.”

“A bunch of people sitting on my face in a row.”

“Get gang-banged and spit-roasted by a squad of cops.”

“Unknown partner blowjob.”

“Sex in that area cleared of foliage on the US/

Canadian border.”

“A ‘perfect week.’”

“Lose my goddamn virginity.”

“Fuck a lot more dads.”

“Have sex with a straight couple and have the man teach me how to eat his girl out and fuck her.”

“I want to eat ass while my partner farts in my mouth.”

“I’d like to be in a porn film at least once in my life.”

“Australian dog rescue. Fist fight a kangaroo while your partner rims your B-hole and milks the man gland.”

“BJs in the Volunteer Park water tower.”

“I want to have sex in a bathroom during a concert.”

“Fuck in a cemetery.”

“Dying having sex.”

Illustration by Kelly Bjork,; Design by Corianton Hale